Kakashi's Research
by Micaru
Summary: Year after year Kakashi's remained a devoted fan of Jiraiya’s infamous “Icha Icha Paradise”. But what happens when he wants to try his own hand at erotic penmanship and a certain pinkhaired chunin inspires him to partake in his own bit of research?
1. Blink or Wink?

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the series! I simply borrow them to do my bidding is all...**_

_A/N: My first attempt at a humor KakuSaku fanfic. It has no real plotline and I'm for the most part making things up as I go along. To my credit, I do have several ideas in store for it though! Please R & R!_

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Kakashi's Research

_Chapter 1: Blink or Wink?_

_-_

"So, what do you think they're up to?"

Sakura frowned, her eyebrows pinching together as she peered over at the pair in question. "I don't know," she hummed with a grimace, "it's too hard to tell from way over here..." She and Naruto stared suspiciously into the backs of the two figures, both of them familiar. They watched as the more thickset of the pale-haired duo leaned towards the latter to relate a maddeningly quiet remark.

"Well, if they would just speak _louder_!" Naruto fumed impatiently, craning his neck in attempts to angle better. His butt wiggled off his seat a whole second before a hand yanked him back down with a hiss, and none to gently.

"Sh!" Sakura did her best not to lose her cool. Lest their currently unsuccessful eavesdropping session be blown. "Stop it!" Naruto looked sheepish as the pair of jade eyes bore threateningly into him.

Ever eager to redirect Sakura's attention, as always, he whined in a deliberate whisper, "But I _really_ want to know what they're talking about!" He breathed an inward sigh of relief as the pink-haired girl's gaze drifted back to the former objects of interest.

"I know already. So do I. But if you go and blow our cover, we'll never get to know why they've been hanging out lately," Sakura reasoned before adding on quickly with a wry smile, "Just think of this as a mission!"

And Sakura couldn't have scripted the results better.

As expected, the self-righteous blonde fell for it, leaning back into his chair, fisting his hands in the orange material of his pants, a fierce scowl on his face. To be honest, he looked constipated. But drawing from past experiences, Sakura knew that he was only carefully thinking.

It would take a while.

Or so she thought. It was then that steaming bowls of ramen were placed in front of the three chunin that Naruto's thinking session quickly evaporated. Short-spanned as ever. Even Sasuke, who seemed to have lost interest in the operation a long time ago, was keen on indulging in his bowl.

"Mmm!" Naruto snapped apart his chopsticks... not that he would be even using them much. "Barbequed pork, eggs, pickles, and those yummy crunchy things! My favorite toppings!" The blonde practically dived head first into his ramen, though not without receiving several disgusted glances from both Sakura and Sasuke.

Sakura rolled her eyes. Naruto had the attention span of a maggot.

Looking back over to the still conversing individuals a couple tables down, Sakura gritted her teeth, now cursing the side of Ichiraku they had chose their table. She would have attempted reading their lips, though considering how she couldn't see through the back of their heads, she immediately dismissed that idea. Oh, how she sometimes wished she'd been born into one of the clans with one of those incredible kekkee genkai techniques like Neji or Sasuke.

But then again, maybe she didn't have to.

"Sasuke!" she chimed, emerald eyes meeting onyx as the said boy next to her regarded her with an arch of the brow. "_You_ have Sharingan!" As soon as the words had left her lips, Sakura wanted to kick herself for how incredibly stupid her little outburst sounded. No duh, he did! Evidently, Sasuke was on the same page as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"I'm so glad you've noticed," he intoned dryly before taking a delicate bite out of his ramen.

Sakura quickly flustered. She hated looking like a ditz in front of this boy! But then, it was hard not to when she felt as though those two dark eyes of his were constantly nitpicking her everything she did and said.

With a small smile she murmured, slightly abashed, "I was wondering, Sasuke... if you could use your Sharingan to read what they're saying?"

Sasuke's disinterested gaze flickered over to the two bleach-heads, where it lingered for what couldn't have been more than a moment. He looked back to Sakura matter-of-factly. "My Sharingan isn't able to read the back of people's heads."

Naruto, bless his heart, piped up through a bite of ramen spraying chunks of noodle and pork all over Sakura as he spoke, "Yeah, well why doncha' go somewhere where it _can_ read what they're saying?" Sakura nodded eagerly as she dusted off the yucky food bits, swatting at one of Naruto's hands as they seemed prone to sought out her own bowl of ramen even in the midst of inhaling his own.

The black-haired boy sighed.

As much as Sasuke made a show of lacking interest, both Naruto and Sakura knew that he was also curious as to why Kakashi-sensei and the one Naruto deemed 'Pervy Sage' were associating lately. And they knew he ultimately wouldn't refuse.

_Especially_ since he was just as pissed as they were that their sensei felt whatever-it-was was important enough to dismiss their training sessions unacceptably early. This had been going on for a couple of days and evidently his students felt that they were fully entitled to know why!

"Fine. I'll do it."

-

Jiraiya smiled before reaching a hefty hand to clap Kakashi on the back, causing the slender shinobi to sway on his stool in turn. Beaming down at the array of papers scattered over the bar counter in front of him, the sage then shined the passive ninja to a full-blown grin. "I don't know whether or not I should be pleased or worried! I might have some competition here, Kakashi-san, if you should ever decide to get this published."

Kakashi's lone eye peered at Jiraiya inquisitively before it crinkled with a telltale smile. "Do you really think so?" he asked offhandedly, though anyone who knew the Copy Nin would have been able to tell that he was flattered. The old sage smirked, a throaty chuckle booming through his chest as he took a large spoonful of ramen into his mouth.

"Sure," Jiraiya replied with a nod. Taking a couple more bites from his bowl, he then glanced at Kakashi and his ramen, untouched. "Aren't you going to eat that?"

Kakashi nodded simply. The sannin reminded him uncannily of a certain blonde idiot. "Yes. I'm just waiting for it to cool down a bit more." Jiraiya stared at Kakashi's bowl of ramen.

It was frigid.

Other than raising an eyebrow at the peculiar ninja, Jiraiya didn't push the subject. Come to think of it, he had never _ever_ seen this one elusive shinobi eat anything in public or at all for that matter. And he had known him for years and years. Clearly, if someone had made _this _much effort to not be seen eating so far in their social career, he doubted that the person would want to risk revealing his face now for the sake of ramen. Even if it was wasteful to just let it sit there.

But, if nothing else, he, along with everyone else in the whole of Konoha, knew that Kakashi was an odd person and that his practices should rarely be questioned. Lest they be bombarded with strange if not bizzare excuses.

"I think I'd better get going," Kakashi was saying as Jiraiya next glanced at the jonin. "Would you...?" he trailed off, nodding to the pile of papers strewn before the Toad Sage.

"Of course," Jiraiya nodded, following Kakashi's gesture to the papers, which he began collecting. After no more than just a few moments, he faced Kakashi once more, papers settled on his outstretched hand.

The silver-haired jonin accepted them graciously, tucking the clumsy stack into some invisible cavity within his green vest as he returned the smile. "Thank you for reviewing chapters six and seven, Jiraiya-sama," his voice came muffled as he climbed to his feet. As if automatically, he quickly lodged his hands into his pockets before turning on his heel curtly. "Same time, same place tomorrow?" He paused, awaiting Jiraiya's simple nod before sauntering off.

Jiraiya watched as Kakashi strolled out of the restaurant before smirking to himself.

His expression quickly died off his face with the sudden realization that the contents of Kakashi's ramen bowl had been sucked clean. And, of course, the offending ninja was no where to be seen - once again leaving him with the bill.

"Kakashi!"

-

And so, Kakashi left Ichiraku, the squawks of a particular infuriated sage ringing in his ears and fueling the bit of briskness in his walk.

Apparently, he had no intention of sticking around to see exactly _why_ the legendary sannin were as famous as they were.

Little did the Copy Nin know, he was being pursued.

Or at least, that's what his stalkers were convinced.

-

Sakura distanced herself from Kakashi as she tailed behind him down the busy street, though she made sure to stay near enough so she could still keep close tabs. She weaved through passing pedestrians, sometimes losing view of her target until she caught site of the bobbing silver mop floating through the crowd again.

Sure, he seemed to walk at his leisure, clutching that all too familiar orange book he'd read the umpteenth time and his other hand wedged idly in his pocket. But sometimes, but _sometimes_... she wondered if he was actually zigzagging her through all the people on purpose, intentionally slinking through the tightnit groups of conversing shoppers and vendors.

It sure wouldn't have been a shocker considering how Kakashi lived to tick his fellow man off. Not that it was even remotely possible. There was no way that he could have known that she, Naruto, and Sasuke had all been tracking him since the second he'd left Ichiraku's. Not when they'd sat there and planned this out. Not when it was Naruto and Sasuke who had readily agreed to _Sakura's_ ingenious plan! It was impossible.

As the Copy Nin turned onto another significantly less crowded road without even looking up, Sakura narrowed her eyes. It was certainly remarkable how the jonin could avoid things from something as simple as a pothole in the road to a fist flying for home on his face sans so much as even batting an eye from his ex-rated book.

Perhaps she had once upon a time been impressed by his ability to function perfectly while reading his brain-numbing smut, but now, Sakura found his 'talent' was incredibly annoying. Especially when she could hardly keep on her toes when she _wasn't_ distracted!

Upon spotting an orange blur flitting from the roof tops of one building to the next, Sakura smiled, her gaze immediately scanning the area for Sasuke. She should have known that that boy was too much of a perfectionist to ever allow himself to be seen as easily. Sakura drew in a sharp breath of anticipation, figuring that both Naruto and Sasuke were readying to carry out the next step to their plan.

While Sakura was busy scoping the area for the intended cue, she was completely ignorant to the sudden cease of footsteps before her.

Big mistake.

_Bam!_

Before she knew what hit her, Sakura's cheek collided into something big, black and green. Stumbling backwards in recoil, Sakura didn't even have to look up to know what she'd bumped into.

"Yo!"

Sakura grimaced, one eye squinting shut as she rubbed at her smarting cheek; her other glared into the offending back of the certain silver-haired shinobi she simultaneously dreaded and anticipated.

"Rule number twenty-four, section B, of the ninja handbook declares that a shinobi should always remain acutely aware of his surrounding area at all times no matter his environment," Kakashi chided before peering at her cheekily from behind his shoulder. "I expect you of all people to have known that one, Sakura."

The girl inwardly seethed, but never-the-less Sakura nodded with a knowing smile, "O-of course. Understood, sensei."

Kakashi's eye crinkled as he reached out to tousle her hair, though it did not go without an indignant growl on her part. Heat rushed to Sakura's cheeks while she quickly brushed aside his hand, shaking her head as she waggled a disapproving forefinger at him. "I told you before... I'm not a kid anymore, sensei! So you don't have to go and treat me like I am. How would you like it if I ruffled _your_ hair?" she scolded shortly.

Kakashi couldn't help but to notice how she adopted that all too familiar pose she usually succumbed to when reprimanding Naruto. Her hands resting on her cocked hips, and her shoulders squared up, a curious emphasis on the gentle dips and curves of her slim figure.

"Mm. Well, to be honest, I wouldn't object Sakura. You see, if you stroke me just right, I'll purr like a kitten," he mused, his hooded gaze lifting from his book to regard her with something she quickly identified as a taunt.

Sakura's mind malfunctioned for a moment, her brain hiccupping on her sensei's remark like a record player to a glitch. What the hell did he mean by that? Sakura stared at him, not sure what to do with that last bit. She'd have searched his face for some expressive facial hint, but, as usual, there wasn't much to be gotten from a countenance that was two-thirds hidden.

Damn that mask.

What promised to turn into an awkward silence between them was quickly shattered when the knuckle-headed idiot everyone knew to be Naruto came galloping out of no where - to Sakura's relief!

"Gyaaah!" he shrieked as he leapt straight for Kakashi, who simply side-stepped, letting the boy catapult himself into a heap of stacked crates.

There was a crash. A spray of dust. And then Naruto wheezing in a fit of coughs and sneezes.

"Oh my," Kakashi arched a brow as he glanced at the grumbling blonde tangled in the crates, most of which he'd managed to smash to smithereens in his little bout. "I can see the effects of _our_ training."

"That's the problem," came Sasuke's scoffing voice and three heads turned to see the Uchiha leaning against the pale wall of some old beaten down apartment building. Apparently, like the sharp little tool he was, he'd sensed that the original plan had shamefully fallen apart and decided to come out of hiding. "No thanks to you."

"Mm?" Kakashi hummed as though he had no earthly idea of which Sasuke was referring.

"Don't play dumb, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto screeched, teetering to his feet and patting down his orange and black jacket before spanking the dirt from his rear. "You've been bailin' on our training sessions a hellova' lot early for the past coupla' days to go and hang out with Pervy Sage and we wanna know why!"

"Yeah, sensei! What's going on between you and Jiraiya-sama?" Sakura questioned.

It was Sasuke's turn. "We saw you exchanging papers with the old man. What were they?"

Three sets of eyes burned fiercely into him. The spotlight was on Kakashi. Again.

"I'm hurt," Kakashi sniffled, pressing his hand melodramatically to his chest. "My three favorite students... my students that I've poured my heart and my soul into raising and nurturing for six long and treacherous years... have not even an ounce of confidence in their poor old sensei?"

His injured innocence act fell on deaf ears. All three of his 'favorite' students droned at the same time, "Nope."

Kakashi frowned as he clenched at his chest feebly. Fanning his face with his book in his other hand, he sighed, "I'm not sure how much more my feeble heart can take of this..."

"Quit acting like such a drama queen, Kakashi-sensei! We're serious here!" Sakura reprimanded shortly, prodding him bitterly in the chest.

"So, there was a reason behind stalking me was there? And I thought my students simply had an obsession--"

"--Yeah, yeah," Naruto interrupted with a grimace, "Don't flatter yourself, sensei! We were _going_ to ambush you and snatch all those papers to see why exactly that you've been sneaking off with Pervy Sage! That is until Sakura blew the plan... her _own_ plan..."

Sakura wanted to crawl under a rock. Cheap shot!

"But anyways! That's not the point!" he continued, being on the receiving end of one of Sakura's signature death glares. "If I don't get any stronger, I'll never be able to become Hokage! And you know that Sasuke-bastard has that whole overly dramatic '_I'm an avenger! Need to kill that certain someone..._'-bull going on!"

Sasuke glowered. It was safe to assume that Naruto was going to pay for that one later.

"So, what is it? What's on those papers?" Naruto ruthlessly pushed on, successfully having dug his grave, "Why've you been meeting up with the old pervert? And why're you neglecting my - I mean _our_ training time to do it, hn?"

"Yeah and it better be a good excuse," Sasuke threatened, crossing his arms.

Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, but was cut short when Sakura interjected, "And it better not be one of those lame excuses like you come up with when you're late either. None of that 'Well, I was on my way... when a giant sparrow scooped me up and carried me away'!"

"Oh, so you've already heard that one, have you?" the jonin chuckled, scratching at his temple uncertainly.

Evidently, his students failed to see the humor in this.

"Well... I'll tell you what," Kakashi said, sighing as he held a hand up in submission. His gaze dropped back down to his Icha Icha Paradise edition. "Meet me at the training grounds in front of the big oak tree at nine tomorrow and we'll see if I can't teach you all a new genjutsu. I admit, I'm beginning to run out of things to teach you guys and soon you'll have acquired enough techniques to move on... but, to my credit, your old sensei still does have a couple aces up his sleeve."

If Kakashi had meant to throw them off his trail, he'd done it, because all three of his interrogators' faces lit up at once. "You mean it?" both Naruto and Sakura chirped at once, obviously thrilled. Sasuke remained as he was, though it was easy to see that he was also intrigued.

"I mean it," Kakashi repeated with a nod, leaning over to ruffle Naruto's hair, who in turn snickered, before reaching out to do the same to Sakura. He stopped mid-way as if catching himself in the midst of a bad habit, probably remembering their little chat from before, because he simply let his hand slide back into his pocket.

As much as Sakura was convinced she was too old to have her hair rumpled, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of dissatisfaction when her own hair tousle never came. She leveled a disappointed stare on Kakashi as he turned to leave.

It was then that any sense of let down was obliterated when Kakashi's half-lidded eye swept over her face, that Sakura could have sworn he had winked at her. She was positive.

Was he pulling her leg? Did he even think about things he said and did before he did them? Did he do these things just to see her go red?

_Well_ - to Sakura's dismay - it was working!

But then, she had to give him the benefit of the doubt here. It just as easily could have been her imagination.

Just like it had been her _imagination_ that there had been lewd connotations around his kitten comment.

Maybe.

But then, there was a always a chance that it was merely a misconstrued blink. Yes. An oddly suggestive misconstrued blink.

Now, when any other person winked, there was always a second eye and mouth one could refer to be sure. You know, context clues. But, no. Not with Kakashi. Of course not with Kakashi.

For the second time that day, Sakura found herself cursing that mask of his!

Taking his leave, the maddening silver-haired Copy Nin called behind himself lightheartedly, "Remember, nine o'clock. And don't be late!"

"_You_ don't be late," the three chunin voices chorused venomously, three pairs of eyes following the whimsical sensei until he disappeared behind a street corner.

There was a brief silence.

"Is it just me, or did Kakashi-sensei not answer a single one of our questions?" came Sakura's voice minutes later, irritated.


	2. The Sty

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the series! I simply borrow them to do my bidding is all.**_

_-_

Kakashi's Research

_Chapter 2: The Sty_

_-_

Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose as she let out the heavy sigh that was begging to be let out for hours. She had just left the boys a little while ago, their bickering and aspirations to outdo one another having left her weary and exasperated. _Especially_, Sakura noted bitterly, when she found that she was the one who had to play both referee and medic when things got out of hand. Which was often.

But then, Sakura wasn't one to talk. She'd have been a complete hypocrite if she said that she and Ino were perfectly compatible. In fact, it was quite the contrary really. The bond that Sakura and Ino shared was something much more complicated than Naruto and Sasuke's never ending conquest for male dominance. Beyond a simple rivalry among friends. They were friends _because_ they were rivals more or less. Even though their relationship had been stitched together since their little falling out a million years ago and they'd since accomplished becoming best friends and even roommates in a two-bedroom apartment, Sakura had to admit that what they had - what_ever _it was - was drastically more mentally grating than any frivolous alpha-male competition, and essentially… more exhausting!

As she wandered down the gradually down-winding streets, she watched the shops finish closing up and the odd peddler stow away his merchandise, the odd one still haggling fiercely with straggling shoppers to achieve one last swindle before calling it a day. Sakura usually would have been one of the ones being swindled, but she didn't feel up for it this afternoon.

Try as Sakura may to not think so much about it, to think to much into it, she could not get Kakashi's bizarre behavior out of her mind. Not that he wasn't normally bizarre or anything. But he had done a job of increasing his weird-factor.

After all, since when did he make questionable comments to her that left her tripping over her own tongue like some idiot? Comments bout him if being stroked correctly, he'd 'purr like a kitten'. And since when did he maybe-possibly-_probably _wink at her when he left?

Sakura grimaced. Her face was positively on fire now. Tomatoes everywhere would hang their heads in shame.

But then, she couldn't help but to notice that there was a big fat blob of doubt hanging onto her speculations. If she looked at it from a practical point of view, it wasn't like he'd particularly behaved abnormally. Well, 'abnormally' to Kakashi in any case. It wasn't like he'd done or said anything that couldn't just have been merely ill-conceived. Now that she thought about it, he could have just been being friendly. She'd always known Kakashi to be odd and vague, a freaking nutjob, so misconception was easy when it came to his methods of displaying his fondness. Was she simply looking too much into this?

After all… was she trying to come to the conclusion that her sensei of six years had been making discreet passes at her?

"Man, do I ever need to get laid," she laughed as she approached the Great Konoha Bridge.

If she was going to assume that her teacher was hitting on her when he was simply being friendly, it was _obvious_ that she was in dire need of a boyfriend. Maybe she _should_ take Ino up on one of her offers to set her up with one of her many guy friends. God knows, that Pig had tried on a daily basis.

Sakura began to cross the bridge less hurriedly, her soft footsteps thumping hollowly on the wooden boards. She had always come to admire the strong old bridge and enjoyed crossing it when returning home. It was just one of those convenient places that just helped her relax, if only in passing. One of her few repreives before she returned back to the apartment to have Ino mither her endlessly about everything and nothing at the same time, as if she had nothing better to do. Which, Sakura hadn't failed to notice on the occassion, she usually _didn't._ A particular favorite of Ino's was to prey on Sakura's not having a boyfriend or any real sexual experience.

Sakura remembered one of their previous conversations:

'_Hey, Forehead!_'

'_What is it, Ino-pig?'_

'_I was wondering… you don't seem to be interested in getting a boyfriend, and when I try to hook you up, you always throw lame excuses in my face. Not to mention - I think that Kakashi-sensei's ridiculous excuse-making logic is rubbing off on you.'_

'…'

'_And all my friends are hot! I mean, H-O-T! Since when do you refuse dates with single, smokin' hot guys to go and walk your mother's cat? Your mom's allergic! There is no cat! And you don't even walk cats! … or do you?'_

'…'

' _But, anyways! This all brings me to the same conclusion! Sakura, are you gay?'_

'_Depends… If I say yes, will you leave me alone?'_

The pink-haired chunin scowled. Sometimes she'd wished Ino would just stick to calling her 'Forehead'. As much as she had always hated that nickname, she'd rather _it _than Ino-pig's snobby teasing about her love life. Or lack there of.

It wasn't like she couldn't get a boyfriend, because she could. She'd certainly caught the men in the village leering at her as she walked down the street plenty enough. _Even though_, she noted sourly, most of them were either old withered geezers or guys that already had a gal latched onto their shoulders! _The pigs._

And both Naruto and Lee were still infatuated at their wit's end about her, but they were simply out of the question in terms of boyfriends. And Sasuke… Sakura's obsession for that emotional wreck had died a long time ago. She remembered a couple years back when she simply had given up on him. She had been fed up with his daily rejections and to her, he was simply out of reach. He was simply one of those unattainable people. An untouchable. Too good for plain old Haruno Sakura. After realizing this, Sakura finally decided to try out dating other boys. But every time things had become _intimate_, things would come to a screeching halt. Sakura didn't understand it herself… but the problem was kind of obvious.

When it came to sex, Sakura supposed, she was easily intimidated. And apparently, boys didn't like being told 'oh, oh, oh, I just remembered - I gotta study for a test tomorrow!' or 'ack! Did he hear that outside just now? I think we're being watched!' in the heat of the moment.

Sakura slowed before leaning over the bridge railing, letting her gaze drift out to the horizon. It was a nice scene, she guessed. It was well into the evening and the sun was setting. The sun peaked over the many roof tops and trees of the village, an array of blinding reds and oranges painting the dimming sky and clouds like a canvas. It would be dark soon, Sakura figured, so she turned and continued on.

If she went to bed early tonight, she'd wake up fresh as a daisy in the morning. Yes, then she'd go out to grab a bite to eat somewhere, having long since abandoned her attempt at maintaining a diet many years ago. Which wasn't so much of a diet as it were fasting. And then, at nine o'clock, she'd meet up with the others and Kakashi-sensei could teach them that new genjutsu of his! That is… providing he _did _show up on time. Best not get any hopes up though.

Sakura couldn't help but to smirk at this. After six years of knowing Kakashi, she quickly learned to never get their hopes up much when it came to him. Lest she be greatly disappointed, of course. Team Seven was without a doubt accustomed to this and could safely depend on his undependability... as funny as that sou -

"Gah...!"

In the midst of her absent reminiscing, Sakura nearly doubled over when her foot slipped on something that sent her sprawling. She stumbled awkwardly, only just having the presence of mind to bring her hands to her front before her face was unpleasantly introduced to gravel. What Sakura slipped on - _whatever_ she slipped on, skidded some to the right of her foot.

Her fall had bent her into an awkward bridge-like position, her hands pressed flat against the rough ground for support, her butt stuck up in the air foolishly. "… the heck?" Sakura hissed, peering venomously at the offending object below her. She blinked. Paper? She slipped on a stack of _paper? _Some ninja she was! She could only imagine what some of the others might say.

Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin when a passing man deftly slapped her on the ass."Sweet cheeks," he grunted as he shot her a cheeky glance. Her butt was flat on the ground in an instant, her face a brilliant red, though whether or not from her being embarrassed or infuriated, it was hard to tell. "Ohhhh! Try that again, I _dare _you!" she shrieked after him before he disappeared, considerably more hurriedly, onto the next street.

Sakura hastily climbed back to her feet and straightened, promptly patting herself down with a scowl. She peered around heatedly to see if anyone had witnessed, but discovered there hadn't been many people around and the people that were present didn't seem to neither notice nor care. She probably should have been annoyed about the fact that no one had the common courtesy to come to aid a damsel in distress, but Sakura rather felt relieved. Last thing she needed was a rumor floating around and Ino cawing in her ear.

Peering down at the object that had caused this whole mess in the first place, she grimaced. Paper. Sakura huffed. Didn't people know better than to litter these days?

Her eyes widened a fraction before they squinted. There was writing on it.

"Come to think if it… didn't Kakashi-sensei…?" she trailed off as she hesitantly gathered the disoriented stack, her eyebrows instantly shooting into her hairline as she caught a glimpse of the lazy scrawl.

'… _Tetsuya wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged Yura to him, reveling in the sudden closeness of their bodies. Yura allowed her own arms fall around his nape, sinking one hand into his messy hair as she clutched his waist in the other. She pushed her chest against his, loving how Tetsuya's breath had become ragged in his throat when her -'_

Sakura swallowed, her breath becoming shallow.

'_- her hard nipples pressed against him through the flimsy fabric of her shirt. She then trailed a series of hot kisses from his temple down the underside of his jaw and along his neck.'_

Sakura licked her lips a little. For some reason, they seemed to be dry all in a sudden...

'_Having particularly lavished his neck and collarbone with fiery licks and nibbles, Yura finally licked her way up to Tetsuya's anticipating mouth and then, finally granting him the thing he silently begged for, she kissed him. Their kiss was slow at first, but it instantly escalated into something of battle for dominance. Tetsuya next leaned into her and enjoyed Yura's shiver of pleasure when he pressed his hard, pulsing coc -'_

"Ah. I see you've found my papers, Sakura."

Sakura jolted with shock, successfully managing to drop half of what she was holding as she wheeled around to face...

_Oh no._

"Ka… Kakashi-sensei!" she stammered in a squeak, having a hard time spitting out her words and feeling as though all the breath had been sucked out of her lungs. Sakura could hear her heart drumming away in her ear with such an intensity that she wondered if Kakashi could hear it too.

The jonin simply watched her, a humored glint in his eye that unnerved her even more. Other than that, the Copy Nin remained as indifferent as ever, his back typically slouched and his hands in his pockets.

Sakura shifted uncomfortably and couldn't bring herself to quite look him in the eye. "So, um…th-these papers are… are _yours,_ sensei?" she murmured, tripping over her words in a way that would give Hinata a run for her money.

"Mm," Kakashi hummed curtly, the same hint of amusement in his tone.

There was an awkward silence, as if he were expecting her to say something more. Sakura positively cooked in it. Kakashi, on the other hand, seemed perfectly at peace. He idly watched as her face twisted from frazzled embarassment to heated accusation.

So these these _were_ his papers. _These_ were why he was neglecting their classes to meet up with Jiraiya-sama. Because he was writing… writing… _porn._

Of all the times that Naruto appeared out of no where, Sakura had never wanted him to pop up more so than she did now.

Sakura quickly squatted to collect the rest of the dropped papers, her hands shaking clumsily and successfully managing to make her repeat the proccess several times over before she could seem to get a grip. Straightening herself, she then offered the pile of papers to the silver-headed jonin, who didn't take them... She was becoming increasingly aware of the way he simply stared at her hands.

What, did he want her to _say_ something?

Sakura nearly sighed aloud when he reached a lazy hand out to finally receive the papers. But, what she didn't expect was to find that not only did he accept the manuscript, but he'd confiscated her hand in the process.

"Sakura…" Kakashi sighed, tugging at her hand until it was palm-up. His was large and strong in comparison, thick and calloused after enduring infinite years of fighting and… _book _holding. He stared down at her hand for a moment or two before looking straight at her. Sakura stopped breathing. "You're injured."

For a moment, Sakura found that her mind was drawing a complete blank. Her train of thought was currently something along the lines of - Hand. Paper in hand. Hand. Holding Kakashi-sensei's hand. Hand. Kakashi's hand. Hand. Injured hand?

"_Injured?"_ she repeated, staring at him through incredulous eyes. "But, I'm not -"

Kakashi gave her hand a gentle squeeze and she hissed, snatching it clean out of his. Kakashi regarded her pointedly as he folded the papers into his vest.

"Oh," she groaned as she stared wide-eyed at her smarting palm. The skin on her palm was swollen and raw, the pink of her flesh throbbing with what seemed to be it's own heartbeat. And only now that she'd realized the thing, she was overwhelmed with the sudden aftershock of the aching she had since been ignoring. She must have skinned it on her exciting little trip from before. Albeit a trip that a _certain_ ninja's pornographic documents had induced! Well, it could have been worst… "It's nothing, sensei. A scrape, I guess."

"Mm," Kakashi hummed offhandedly. He paused briefly before dipping his head to nod to her right knee, "And I suppose that _that _is a simple scrape too." Sakura blinked, before she realized that she'd unconsciously been favoring her left leg until he mentioned.

Sakura gasped. Knee. _Blood._ Lots and lots of it.

"Sensei… I think I'm gonna faint," she whispered coarsely as she paled, pulling her hand to her brow and wiping the bead of sweat that had formed there.

"Sakura, don't be ridiculous. You're not going to..." he broke off as she teetered dangerously, quickly extending his arm to steady her lest she swoon, "… _okay_, maybe you are." He gently ushered her to the wall, of which she practically clung to for dear life.

"Kakashi-sensei, tell me… how bad is it?" she whispered, feeling like a toad had nested in her throat and she had to talk through it.

"It looks as though we'll have to amputate…"

"_Kakashi-sensei."_

"Okay, okay," he chuckled. She contemplated homicide. "It isn't serious. It just looks to be a minor flesh wound."

Sakura breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Just hope it doesn't get infected," Kakashi added unnecessarily.

She twitched.

"You know how those infections can be. Septic and painful, bacteria-infested and..."

Sakura blanched.

Kakashi broke off as though he was suddenly aware of how his words were settling with her. Good thing too, because he was just about to go into graphic detail about _pus…_ "I'll take you to the hospital," he said instead, leaning forward to offer her a hand.

"I can walk," Sakura declined it grimly, a look of determined nonchalance on her face. She hesitantly pushed away from the wall, swallowing her groans of discomfort in attempts to appear unruffled. She knew that Kakashi wasn't fooled though. "And I'm not going to the hospital."

"And why not?" Kakashi asked, his eyebrow tilting as he stared at her, clearly not liking her defying the medical attention.

"Well, for one," Sakura scowled, "This isn't a big deal. You said yourself, it's just a nick."

"Correction. _Flesh wound..._" Kakashi interjected.

"Second of all, I can't waste the money on medical expenses."

"God forbid loss of limb be a sufficient excuse."

"And lastly, hospitals just creep me out! They smell funny."

There was a brief pause in which Kakashi just stared at her, looking, if only once during their interaction during the day, unamused.. He seemed to be debating whether or not Sakura's feeble excuses were reason enough to exempt a simple hospital visit. And by the way that dark eye lasered at her humorlessly, they didn't. "Well, I'm no doctor… and my medical skills aren't exactly up to scratch…" he sighed, "but my apartment _is_ just up the road."

Sakura didn't say anything for a long moment as she watched his expression inquisitively, as though she were weighing his proposition's beneficial value. Apparently, she wasn't in any position to refuse it, because she also sighed. "Well, alright," she said. "But only for a minute. I'll never hear the end of it from Ino if she catches me sneaking in at night."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

-

Apparently, Kakashi had apprehended her foul sense of agony as he hadn't tried to hurry her as they both ascended the fleets of stairs. He even refrained from making any wisecracks as she stiff-limped almost comically up each and every stair. Oh, and how it must have eaten away at him inside. _But,_ Sakura noted sourly, she hadn't failed to see that his cheek was lifted up, the one indication of his amusement that he didn't keep in check. She remembered begrudgingly letting it slide. The last thing she wanted to do was get riled up.

"I don't expect visitors often," Kakashi's voice was saying half-heartedly as he pushed open the shabby door of his apartment. "Sorry, if it's a little messy," he said with an eye crinkle.

Sakura peered around his apartment and immediately her face twisted with disgust. '_A little bit messy??' _That was clearly an understatement. There was laundry strewn across his floor, mounds of it in every corner, and trash and questionable food items on every surface of everything. He even had random work-related artifacts littering the place: kunai, scrolls, throwing stars, spare flak jackets. Not only did she wonder how he kept up with any of his things in the place, but she was appalled to find that humans could survive and function under such living conditions. It was sickening almost. Sakura bet that she was more liable to get an infection from _inside _his home.

"Kakashi-sensei…"

"Mm?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you live in a _pigsty?_"

"Why yes, Sakura-chan."

"So, then you're probably used to people calling you a slob?"

"Naturally."

"I assumed you would," Sakura deadpanned.

"Well, you might as well get comfortable. I'll find the first aid kit," Kakashi said, jumping straight to the point as he maneuvered through the array of junk in the living room before he disappeared into the hall. He must have been thoroughly used to his apartment being so messy to move with such skill and not falling and breaking his neck. On one hand, it was mildly inspiring. On the other, it was just plain alarming.

"…Might take you a while," Sakura grumbled sourly as she tip-toed around various items, passing by things as common as a candy wrapper to oddities like a kunai knife. One which still had blood on it Sakura was quick to notice!

Taking a seat on his couch, not before dusting a solid pile of clothes off it, Sakura looked around. He had a fair-sized living space, she noted. It wasn't exactly the _first_ thing one noticed when walking through the front door. The disgusting monstrosity that was his _apartment _was somewhat distracting. Sakura had always supposed her sensei to be disorganized, but this, _this…_ It was one thing to hear about it, but it was another to actually being the one to witness his home in all its filthy glory. And, when she came to think of it… she doubted that either Naruto or Sasuke had ever been. She was likely the first in a while ever to be invited into his house. As much of an honor that was.

"What are you smiling about?" sounded a voice and Sakura jerked around to see Kakashi towering over her, next to the couch. His eyebrow was quirked as he watched her curiously. He had an old dented first-aid kit clutched in his hand with a faded red cross on it's front.

"Oh, nothing!" Sakura smiled cheesily. Kakashi was unconvinced, but he didn't push the subject. He only threw her a bemused look before he kneeled down at the foot of the couch, sinking himself between her knees. She watched as her sensei rummaged awkwardly through the medical kit and the longer he took, the more nervous she became. Sakura chewed on her bottom lip, finding herself becoming increasingly worried.

Did he even have the slightest idea of what he was doing? Suddenly the hospital visit didn't seem to be such a bad idea!

As Kakashi collected several items, Sakura felt herself sigh in relief. Ah… so he _did_ know!

"So," suddenly came Kakashi's voice.

"So?" echoed Sakura's, confused.

"_So_…" he prompted. "What did you think?" he asked simply as he gently pushed up the bloodied material of her shorts so that it rested just above her knee.

"What did I… think?" she repeated, baffled.

"Yes," he said simply, with a patient nod, as though encouraging a particularly shy child. "The manuscript. Surely you have got an opinion?"

To be honest, Sakura had almost completely forgotten about the stupid thing. She was caught completely off guard when he asked her opinion. "Y-yes. I mean, I didn't…"

"You _did_ read some?" Kakashi unscrewed the cap of the small half-empty bottle of whiskey before he extracted a cotton ball out of his pack.

"Well, yeah - "

" - Then you can tell me what you thought about it."

Sakura frowned, her eyes narrowing as they glared into Kakashi's blank one. "Okay," she said. "To be honest…"

Kakashi held his breath.

"… It sucked."

There was a long pause. A dog's lonely howl sounded in the distance.

"Sorry, come again?"

It was Kakashi's turn to look skeptic. His visible eye widened a fraction and a slight shift in his jaw hinted that his mouth had indeed fallen open. As though he had just been slapped in the face. As though someone had just bitten a clean chunk out of his self esteem. And, for all Sakura was concerned, she had the fork and Kakashi-ego-crummies on her mouth. At this, Sakura secretly gloated, a smirk tugging gleefully at her lips. Oh, how she wished she could have snapped a photo of him! She was sure Gai would have paid an arm and both legs.

"I thought," Sakura said, enunciating her words slowly and with deliberate bluntness, "it sucked."

It had come to her immediate attention that as soon as she repeated this, there was an overwhelming scorching sensation in her knee and she yelped. It felt as though someone had poured liquid fire into her open wound. Then smashed a lemon into it. Sakura's cry warped into something reminiscent of a whimper as the pain melted away almost as abruptly as it had come, simply leaving her throbbing flesh wound with an unpleasant prickly feeling. "Fuck!" Gasp. "... You bastard!" Gasp. "Asshole... Kakashi…" Sakura rasped, "you could have at least warned me!"

"Sorry," Kakashi murmured, "must have _slipped_ my mind." Sakura failed to hear the sympathy in his tone.

The jonin next brought the offending bottle of whiskey up to where Sakura assumed his mouth would be and took a measured drought from it through his mask. Sakura's eyes narrowed. She resisted the compelling urge to comment about the connection between his alcohol intake and his lack of brain cells. If this was he way of dealing with his stress, she could definitely see a link.

"It was unfair of me to ask your opinion anyways. You'd _obviously_ only gotten to read a tiny bit of it…" he murmured as he sat the bottle down next to him. A brief silence flitted by in which Kakashi played medic. He dabbed the cotton to her knee with gentle but thorough strokes until all the whiskey and crusted blood was wiped away, leaving her knee tender, but clean.

Her gash wasn't that bad, really. It had bled more than it's actual significance. It was a deep-seated scrape, the tiny shards of gravel and glass having embedded themselves to instigate the exaggerated bleeding and ultimately - _pain_ being neatly removed. Lastly, he pulled out a small bottle of antiseptic cream and applied that too. Thankfully, that didn't sting. Sakura supposed that bit was to prevent infection. Which she greatly appreciated.

"No, I read it all," Sakura replied, all so she could prolong the moment of seeing her sensei piqued. Once again, there was that 'coincidental' extra pressure to her knee scrape which caused her to hiss in discomfort. But other than that, Sakura was as adament as ever.

She could help it... She reveled in his sense of dimwittedness, taking to it like a fish to water! She could hear Inner Sakura guffawing in the back of her mind. Just wait until she told Naruto and Sasuke that she was the one who'd dumbstricken Kakashi. They'd fall head over heels.

Of course, she'd have to leave some _trivial_... face-vaulting... butt-smacking.... details out of it.

"It just didn't flow, sensei. It could have done with some more detail," she lied. She racked her brain for things she could pass for believable yet valid criticism. It _had_ to be vague though. She wasn't able to give him anything specific. After all, she'd only read a microscopic portion of his manuscript and it wasn't like she could rail on any particular scenes with no proper grounds to refer to. He'd see right through that. "Not to mention, your handwriting is ghastly!" Yes. She was definitely running out of things to say. And running out quick. Sakura shook her head and crossed her arms. "None of it was believable. I just wasn't _feeling _it, Kakashi-sensei."

Her cheeks reddened as she caught his arch of the brow and that amused little glimmer in his eye. "You could have fooled me," he said nonchalantly as he leveled a big white bandaid to her knee wound. Sakura's eyes went wide. "Because, you sure seemed as though you were _'feeling'_ it while you were avidly reading."

Sakura immediately bristled. "Well, I wasn't!" How long had he been watching her? When did he get the chance to see her er - _feeling _it? And, well, she wasn't! She was just picking up the sheets when her eyes _happened _to see those pornographic scribbles! So what if they lingered a little bit? She hadn't exactly known that they were his and what if somebody had lost important documents? It was only natural that she try to find a name or something! How was she to know that there was _that_ on those papers!?

"Mmhm," Kakashi hummed incredulously, obviously entertained by her frustration. His skepticism and apparent amusement only served as fuel to Sakura's explosive temper. Sakura could swear she _heard_ him grinning! "Well, Sakura-chan." He paused only to see how she'd react to his use of the added suffix. She expectantly glared. "You've made it clear that you don't like my story. But, if there was out of the whole thing a part that you didn't entirely hate, which would be your favorite?"

Sakura stewed in her thoughts for a small eternity. Did he know that she hadn't read the whole thing? He had to! Why else would he ask her that? Sakura grimaced. But like hell she'd ever let him know that she didn't! Besides, it wasn't _completely_ a lie. She had read a part of it... a teeny, tiny portion of it...

"Oh. I thought the part with Takuya and Yumi was okay…"

"You mean Tetsuya and Yura?"

"Yeah, them!"

"Which part? The whole story is based off of them."

"The part where they are…" Sakura trailed off, blushing. She wished she'd read a less obscene part.

Kakashi quirked a brow.

"…"

"_Are…?"_ he prompted with a gesture of his hand.

"Well, they were hugging and kissing."

"Which they do often," he said.

"And then there was the part where…" Sakura's voice shrunk into an incoherent mumble. Kakashi positively wallowed in her discomfort.

"I'm sorry? I didn't quite catch that."

"I _said_," she hissed with a grimace, her face ablaze. Kakashi was surprised she didn't spit real venom. "...where her chest is rubbing against his! And she gasped or something… as he pressed his…" Mumble, mumble. "…against her!"

"His what?"

"His co - " she quickly bit off the end of the word, almost grinding her teeth to pulp in the process. If he looked real hard, Kakashi bet that he could see the spark… "Wait a second! _You _wrote it! So _you_ should know what happens, sensei!"

Kakashi simply nodded, his eye crinkling again as he smiled. "Yes. But, it's much more fun to see you say it."

Sakura hated Kakashi. No, wait - she was beyond it. She was _loathe_ for this man. It was as simple as that. If she waited a moment, she was sure she could feel a aneurism forming in the back of her brain.

"Being the _writer_ and all, it has also come to my attention that your favorite part is one of the more _explicitly intimate_ scenes of my manuscript…" He stopped to watch her expression twist in horror. "Who knew our very own seemingly innocent Sakura-chan was such a pervert?"

"Me? A _pervert?_" Sakura's voice came in a high-pitched shriek, her attempt at nonchalance significantly unconvincing. Dogs everywhere would be in pain. "I'm not the one who's writing this dime-store smut!"

"Ah, but you did read it," commented Kakashi pointedly, his voice and expression as level-headed as ever. Oh, how he _loooved _to press her buttons.

"Yeah? Well! Well…" Sakura began to stumble over her words again, her mind going into overdrive as she vigorously searched for something cynical yet cool to say. She couldn't think of anything fresh, so she instead settled for saying something she'd known to stomp on his ego before. "…It wasn't even any good anyway! It wasn't at all believable!"

"Oh?" Kakashi asked, his half-lidded eye regarding her now with something other than amusement. A different something that sent a chill creeping up Sakura's spine.

"It is," she affirmed hotly.

"So, you're saying… that the situations in my manuscript aren't believable?" he intoned in a voice that diminished Sakura's courage like a fire extinguisher to a flame, "…that if you, Sakura, were placed in any one of those '_unbelievable_' situations, that you wouldn't feel in the least bit compelled to - "

" - No!" Sakura could only shake her head with a vigor that was more ferocious than she felt. She stared resolutely at her feet, finding that it was becoming increasingly difficult to look at her sensei.

"Somehow," next came Kakashi's voice and Sakura's gaze whipped up only to see the him again looming before her, "I find _that_ unbelievable."

Sakura scarcely had a chance to gasp before she discovered that she had been laid flat against the cushion of his sofa. "Kakashi-sensei! What the heck do you think you're doing?" she growled as he slowly bridged himself over her, the couch dipping with the additional weight. His hands propped on either side of her head as his hips deftly settled between hers.

She nearly had a freaking heart attack.

Sakura frantically searched for some sort of an indication - an explanation for this all of a sudden, but found none as his gaze was the same as always. Hooded and unreadable. "You're… you're kidding, right?" she asked, forcing a jaunty smile as she brought a hand up to jab at his shoulder playfully. "_R-right_, sensei?"

Sakura fully expected Kakashi to climb right off of her and say, _'You're right Sakura-chan. I'm only joshing you!' _And from there they would share an awkward laugh. Then Sakura would make an excuse to go home. And thereafter they would never speak of it again and things would go back to normal. The end!

At least - that's what she had hoped for.

However, the _real_ Kakashi stayed put. He did not climb off of her like she'd anticipated. And instead, he pressed closer still, laying his torso flat against hers. Her breath froze in her throat before coming out ragged, her heart thumping away at her chest as if it were intending to burst from her ribcage. Sakura could feel the distinct muscles of his torso as it squared into hers. She could feel the soft rise and fall of his chest - steady, as opposed to hers. Kakashi was silent, didn't say a word, his eye burning into hers with an intensity that made her want to melt. She gulped.

"Wh-what're you…? S… sensei??"


	3. Duped!

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the series! I simply borrow them to do my bidding is all..._**

A/N: Thanks again you guys for the feedback! I really do appreciate the reviews!

-

Kakashi's Research

_Chapter 3: Duped!_

-

Just earlier that day, Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke had all been engrossed in a plan. It was a plan initiated when a particular inexplicable teacher of theirs had decided to cut their training session ridiculously short for the fifth time within the week.

For the first couple days, Sakura and the others figured that their sensei was simply giving them a breather. But as this questionable little trend continued, the students of Team Seven had found themselves increasingly suspicious.

Well, at least Sakura knew she was. But, she had every right to be, hadn't she?

Wasn't it odd? Wasn't it odd the way Kakashi-sensei seemed to have been making a questionable habit out of dismissing their classes four hours earlier than the usual? Yes, he was unpredictable when it came to terms of schedule and sure, the man was lazy... But still, this seemed beyond the standard Kakashi-esque ritual even by his standards.

And that's when they'd finally agreed to investigate his curious pastime… thanks to Sakura's urging, of course. What was so honestly captivating that Kakashi felt it necessary to neglect their training sessions to carry out?

It was now that Sakura wished that the thought had never crossed her mind. It was now that she wished she'd just accepted his generous acts as they seemed, weird and unusual freebies like any other student her age would have. Even if everyone in the whole village knew that the Copy Nin was anything _but _generous…

If she'd have known the chain of events that followed her simple curiosity, she'd have frantically kept her nose out of his business!

She'd have never convinced Naruto and Sasuke to follow her to Ichiraku to see what he was up to. Even though, Naruto hardly needed _any_ convincing so long as ramen was tied in there somewhere...

She'd have ignored the wad of papers in the road on her way back to her apartment. She would not have _slipped _on them. Oh-ho-ho no! She'd have moon walked past them and then cartwheeled back to her apartment, never ever having to endure the awkward conversations and… _situations _that day that woulda-coulda been.

But, Sakura was no psychic...

Sakura's mind was racing almost as quick as her heartbeat. She had been in vulnerable positions before, but Sakura had never in her life felt more exposed than she did right now.

She wriggled uneasily beneath the bulk her sensei. Though most of his weight was kept off of her, Sakura's breathing was so patchy that one would have thought that he was smashing all the air from her lungs.

Kakashi had done nothing other than mask himself over her and somehow within the next following moments, he'd managed to stir up a storm of conflicting emotions within Sakura.

She wasn't sure how she should have felt. About him and her like _this_. He was Kakashi Hatake and she was Haruno Sakura. He was the teacher and she was his student. He was the scarecrow and she was the flower. There was so many things physiologically wrong about this picture. No teacher and student should ever have been seen like this. It was simply wrong. Unspeakable. A taboo.

It was so to a degree that there were _laws _that prohibited things like this.

What was the heck was he thinking? He knew that this was wrong! And all of this just because she critiqued his papers? Well… it was more like, she _trampled _all over them and his ego. But still! What did he expect her to think about this? How did he think she'd react to him now? It wasn't everyday that Sakura was come done on out of the blue! And by her teacher no less!

Sakura fidgeted with anxiousness … though in which sense, was beyond her.

What was she supposed to do? Shove him off? Kick him in the _beanbags _and make a run for it? Or was she supposed to just submit to him… along with those funny feelings he was stirring somehow from her?

Out of all of her years of being a shinobi, Sakura didn't think that her senses had ever been so keen. Not during training. Not on life-threatening missions. Not even during similar situations when she was faced with boyfriends her own age that were comparable to leg-humping puppies.

Even when they were both fully clothed the feel of his body pressing so closely against hers, large and warm, was mind-blowing. His familiar scent was heady and masculine as it flooded her nostrils, dimming her sense of reason, but furthering Sakura's twitchy restlessness.

"Kakashi-sensei…?" Sakura's voice came just short of a whisper.

Again her query went unanswered. He seemed intent on ignoring her confused stammers and this unnerved her.

And what freaked her out most was that even through the disarray of jumbled scruples of her mind, the ones screaming about how incredibly wrong this was… her body was reacting in ways that felt incredibly _right_.

She had at that moment become terribly aware of how the weight that bore down between her legs was inciting a foreign, yet primitive feeling within her body. The natural arch of her back had become more profound as her hips dipped downwards to better receive those that had settled snuggly in between them. Her breath had become shallow and erratic, the mere proximity of her body and Kakashi's kindling an incredible warm sensation at the juncture of her groin.

Sakura chewed her bottom lip. _Oh _… She was starting to get wet.

The material of Kakashi's throat shifted vaguely as he gave a strained swallow.

_Could he... tell?_ Sakura blushed, embarrassedly trying to lock her thighs together, but unsuccessful with Kakashi's hips preventing this.

Sakura shuddered. It wa strange to feel the contrasting warmth of his breath on her decidedly cool neck through his mask. And it was even more strange when Kakashi slowly lowered his face to the small of her jugular in turn making her go rigid.

He pressed his lips to the gentle curve of her eve's grape, feeling her breath snag in her throat, before he gradually trailed them to her delicate jawbone and leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. Sakura could still smell the faint tang of the whiskey that he'd sipped earlier lingering on his breath as his steady in and exhalations fanned rhythmically over the lobe of her right ear.

Sakura felt light-headed. The kind of light-headedness she felt when she had a buzz. The kind of light-headed she felt was the kind of high she had in a dream. It all seemed a bit surreal; the intimate pressing of their bodies. The lull of his breath as it tickled her ear. Her hips cradling his. The sudden pool of warmth she felt gathering between her thighs.

She could next feel a large semi-gloved hand entangle itself into the bubble gum locks that haloed around her head, while another cupped her chin, the bare thumb of which brushing over the round of her cheek gently. Only dimly aware that she could no longer feel the gentle puffs of air that had before tickled her ear, Sakura could barely register Kakashi's face hovering inches from her own.

She closed her eyes and leaned into his gentle caresses and probably would have purred too had she been physically capable of doing so, but instead settled for just a small sigh.

When she next opened her eyes, he was looking at her but his eye wasn't gazing into hers anymore. Instead, it seemed to be particularly attentive to her slightly quivering lips. Soft, pink-tinted lips that were slightly parted, practically _begging_ him to have a taste.

Kakashi must have felt the need to comply as his mouth slowly inched down to Sakura's with a deliberate and painstaking slowness.

Never before in her life had Sakura ever wanted to kiss someone so bad. Not Lee. Not Naruto. Not Sasuke. Not any of the other boys she'd ever dated. But now, as Kakashi's lips neared her own… mouthwateringly tempting and…

Sakura's eyes drifted shut as she tilted her mouth up to meet his and even when anticipated, what she imagined from his kiss didn't even compare to the actual thing. The moment his lips touched hers, the pleasant sensation coupled with her welled up anticipation immediately sent sparks of bliss ping-ponging throughout her body and thus resulting in her muffled moan. His lips were soft and almost lethargic as they pressed her into a slow and lazy kiss. His tongue tapped indolently along her bottom lip while hers responded with meek, but receptive strokes.

By this time, one of her hands had wrapped around the back of his neck while the other rested soundly on his hip. When they got there, Sakura did not know! But right then, she couldn't say that she cared.

Sakura wished now more than ever that he had at least had the decency to lower his mask! Especially when they were both _sucking face! _Not only would she like to have _seen _what she was kissing, but she couldn't help but think that the material that separated their mouths was somewhat of a barrier.

While Sakura was absorbed into her indignant thoughts about him, she was caught completely off guard when he she was suddenly under the impression that Kakashi was _laughing_.

That's right, that Kakashi was laughing. She quickly dismissed it, not thinking much of it.

But then, Kakashi pulled away.

This was only brief, because she had immediately grasped him by the collar and tugged him back into another slightly bolder kiss, unexpectedly led by her. Kakashi's solitary eye widened a fraction with surprise, but even so, he didn't pull away. Instead, he allowed Sakura to continue on with her hungry attacks on his mouth. Her kiss was clumsy and a little bit awkward. But, in a cute way.

After a moment or two, Sakura was surprised to hear Kakashi laugh. _Again!_

It wasn't an obnoxious laugh. And Sakura hardly even heard it. She more or less _felt _the fitful rise and fall of his chest against hers and the way his lips had twisted into a smirk under his mask. But it was more than enough to snap Sakura out of her stupor. She could give him the benefit of the doubt the first time, but twice is just pushing it!

What the heck did he think was so funny anyways? Surely her kissing wasn't _that_ bad! "What are you… _giggling_ about, sensei?"

Kakashi was silent for a moment before he smiled. "Point established," Kakashi's voice drawled with an air of bitter sweetness coating his words. Sakura's eyes fluttered open, only to see a smug one surveying hers with a sense of indefinite triumph.

"Hn?" It took her a long moment to register what was going on within the sensual fog that had dulled her senses, but when she finally had she discovered that her sensei had taken the liberty climb off of her.

What the hell had just happened? It didn't make any sense in the least! One minute he was coming down on her and the next, he was on his feet…? He had _preheated_ the oven and now it was left to simmer on high? What exactly was this guy playing at?

Sakura dazedly peered up at him as he straightened, his eye now crinkled in the familiar way she recognized to be a smile. He turned away from her, but Sakura didn't miss the way his frame slightly shook as he stifled what seemed to be another gleeful chuckle.

At this Sakura pursed her lips. She closed her eyes briefly as she dug through her muzzy mind for the meaning behind that vague remark. "_Point established?_" she croaked.

"Mm," came Kakashi's voice.

"What the hell does that supposed to mean?" she growled, feeling her temper rapidly sparking alongside the heavy blush in her cheeks.

"Well," Kakashi intoned flatly, "if you'll recall after reading the _whole entire _thing, that I just performed the same role as Tetsuya in one of the earlier scenes? For one who didn't find any of the scenes believable, you sure could have passed for someone who did."

Sakura quickly flushed red.

There was an inescapable awkward silence.

"I… I have to go home," Sakura muttered, climbing shakily to her feet. She had to get out of that place. She would not stay any longer. Not with him. Not after _that... _

"Alright, I'll walk you," Kakashi offered impassively as he turned to face her, one hand in his pocket as the other groped around in his vest for his Icha Icha.

"No you will not," Sakura grumbled darkly. He was _not _going to walk her home! How could he expect her to allow him after what had just happened? He had the gall to ask her after just having made a complete _fool _out of her like that? Sakura scowled as she turned away and marched towards the door.

"But, it's already dark out. It's not safe for a girl to go outside this late. There are w--"

"--What? _Weirdoes? _Weirdoes like _you, _Kakashi-sensei??" Sakura snapped, stopping only to throw a vicious glare at him from over her shoulder. Kakashi was silent.

Maybe he had _that _one coming to him…

"Look, Sakura…" But, before he was able to finish what he was going to say, Sakura swung open the door and stormed out, slamming the thing so hard his apartment shook. How she didn't manage to rip the door clean off of it's hinges was beyond him. Kakashi sighed. The other tenants were not going to be happy...

-

Sakura stomped through the hallway of her apartment with brutish steps. Her knuckles were bleached under the immense pressure she was exerting on her fists and her face was red and contorted with the rawest of resentment. If Naruto had made the mistake of crossing her path right then, she'd make one hellova' punching bag out of him!

Sakura was _livid._

She practically kicked down the door open as she entered her household. Apparently, Ino who had been watching the television in the living room in the meantime successfully managed to spill half of her tea in a jolt as Sakura stormed in. For a moment, Ino just stared at her enraged friend as she none too gently slammed the door behind her.

"Someone's in a bad mood," Ino commented loudly, only taking a sip of her herbal tea when Sakura gave her a 'what-gave-you-that-idea!?' glare. "What's the matter with you?"

"… Nothing. I'm going to bed!"

"But, it's only eight. And there's _obviously_ something bothering you."

"Don't push it, pig!"

"…" Ino glared into Sakura's back as she stormed off into her room. Even though Ino didn't make habits out of letting Sakura get away with hateful jabs like that-- and it nearly killed her to do so, Ino refrained from voicing one of the many insults screaming in the back of her head. Obviously, Sakura was upset about something and needed some time to herself. Ino would just wait until tomorrow before getting the skinny.

-

When Sakura got into her room, she closed the door and flung herself onto her bed-- shoes and all.

Sakura couldn't believe it. So, the entire time that Kakashi was jerking her feelings around and instigating strange reactions from her body, he was simply out to prove a point? Did he honestly think that when he'd put her in such position, that she wouldn't be prone to react? Did he know that while he may have been reenacting some dumb part to a scene, all of Sakura's responses were real? Did he know that after that, she'd probably never be able to look him in the face again?

She sighed. And it would have been a whole lot easier to carry out that last part if she hadn't had to see him the next morning! How could Sakura face him? Would things be awkward between them? Would he make non-stop wisecracks at her? Or would he pretend nothing ever even happened…?

Sakura buried her head into her pillow to stifle her groan of humiliation. "That's it… I'm calling in sick tomorrow," she grumbled into the pillow to no one in particular, before adding mentally, '_and the day after that and the day after that...'_

Sakura had to admit though, when Kakashi did spring his little 'skit' on her, she found that it wasn't _entirely_ unpleasant on her behalf. In fact, as much as she'd rather die before admitting to him, she couldn't deny the way that she just about melted into a pile of goop while she was under the pretense of Kakashi seducing her.

"Puh." Sakura grimaced. She couldn't believe it. Sakura chewed on her lower lip as a blush rapidly settled on her cheeks. He'd kissed her. And she kissed him back. And the whole time, she… had loved it! Even if they weren't real kisses to him, to her they were. They were her first proper kisses.

Kakashi's kiss hadn't been careless or sloppy, but it wasn't overdone either. It was unhurried and lazy. So incredibly _Kakashi_, it almost hurt. Sakura couldn't help but to giggle at this.

Sakura did suppose that Kakashi was a nice kisser though. Compared to some of her others that consisted of her boyfriends sticking their tongues halfway down her throat and slobbering all over her in the meantime, Kakashi's kiss was just short of perfect...

It probably _would_ have been perfect had he cared enough to lower his mask! What kind of guy kisses through a mask in the first place? Evidently, Kakashi was! Though, Sakura guessed it was kind of kinky in it's own neurotic kind of way…

Sakura yanked one of her pillows to her face and groaned into it. "Oh man…" She did _not _just think that.

Sakura was disgusted with him. Disgusted with _herself _for enjoying and going along with it. And she was even more so disgusted with the fact that she couldn't get Kakashi out of her mind just because of a fake kiss!

What in the world was wrong with her? It wasn't right! There was something seriously wrong with Sakura thinking that her teacher was a fantastic kisser… with being disappointed when her teacher didn't finish what he started!

Sakura sighed, her eyes drifting close as she allowed her hand to trace gentle circles around the bandaid over her gash on her kneecap-- oh, correction, _flesh wound_. She scrunched her face a little with a grimace. It still stung a bit. But Sakura hated to think of her knee getting anywhere near as how infected Kakashi had described. Sakura shuddered. She blinked up at her ceiling light fixture and stared at it pensively as she poked and prodded at her scrape.

Sakura pondered what would have happened if they never stopped kissing. What would have happened if they were left to continue…?

She shivered again, though this time it was for a completely different reason. She found herself dragging her hand up and down her thigh, trying to imagine it being Kakashi's instead of her own. She stroked her upper-leg gently, letting her fingertips just trace over the seam of her shorts as they brushed along her inner-thigh. _"Kakashi-sensei…" _Sakura purred, her eyes drifting shut and her back arching against the sheets as a new ache crept up and over her. The same kind of ache she had when Kakashi was on top of her earlier on that evening. She slowly slipped her fingers under her waistband and under her red panties until…

Plunk!

Sakura's eyes shot open and she instantly whipped her hand out of her pants like a kid who was caught stealing goodies out of a cookie jar. She stared with wide eyes at the window of her bedroom, her heart pounding a mile a minute.

She could have sworn she just heard something out there!

Sakura was already clutching that kunai she had always kept underneath her pillow for those 'just-in-case' scenerios and had it poised in the normal defensive manner. She crawled off of her bed and slowly crept towards her window, chewing her bottom lip anxiously as she held her weapon at the ready.

When she was in front of the window, she at first hesitantly peered out of it, but after seeing nothing but darkness, she proceeded to open it. Sakura looked out of the window and frowned. "I must have just been hearing things…" she murmured to herself nervously before withdrawing back inside and shutting her window.

Later on that night, Sakura snuck into Ino's bed to sleep.

-

Kakashi stood there for all of five minutes after Sakura stormed out of his apartment. In those few minutes, Kakashi spaced out, simply debating on what he should do. Go? Or not to go?

On one hand, Sakura was obviously a little bit upset. Alright. Maybe that was an understatement.

On the other though, if something were to happen to her on her walk back…

But she _really_ didn't want him to go…

That's when Kakashi decided he was going. It didn't take long for him to catch sight of Sakura, but even when he did, Kakashi didn't care to declare his presence. He knew Sakura didn't want to see him. And he knew that she'd probably level him if she did. So, the Copy Ninja just settled for keeping a fair distance behind her.

He'd just see her safely to her house and then he'd go back home.

It was a quiet sort of night, Kakashi supposed. There was a waning crescent moon off somewhere overhead, obscured partially with passing clouds as the few stars that were visible in the city dotted the night sky randomly. It was peaceful to say in the least. It was the kind of peaceful where one could just sigh dreamily and admire the scenery and sigh some more...

And so Kakashi readily filled in that time with gluing his nose into his notorious orange novel. It wasn't like he often had the opportunity to read Icha Icha. Yeah,_ right…_

Kakashi was about to read for the ninety-third time that week what was about to happen to the heroine of chapter sixteen when some grumbling up ahead caused him to lower his book. He blinked, hearing words like _'bastard' _and _'asshole' _drifting from Sakura's direction. Kakashi nearly cringed at some of the other things his hearing was subjected to. He was so not a _dick-mo_! His innocent ears were positively bleeding. Who knew Sakura's vocabulary could be so vulgar?

Kakashi frowned. She was _pissed. _Pissed like someone had just kicked her puppy, pissed.

He supposed he understood though. Kakashi had always figured Sakura to be like Naruto when it came to defeat. Stubborn and forever spiteful.

Kakashi could recall that he had been once proud of himself after avenging the dignity of his manuscript. He remembered being all too pleased when Sakura more than willingly returned his kiss. But then, even while there was still that part of his male pride that was still as smug as ever, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret for putting Sakura in that kind of position only to prove a point.

Even if it was a point that he'd _thoroughly _managed to get across. His ego spiraled.

But then again, it had never been _his_ point to prove in the first place ... There went that dreadful pang of guilt again.

During the midst of his performance-- the one that he'd convinced himself was entirely for the sake of preserving his pride-- Kakashi found himself getting way more into it than he gave himself credit for.

Earlier as he lay there on top of Sakura, soaking in her confused squeaks and meager objections, Kakashi had ignored that microscopic speck of conscience that warned him not to do anything he'd later regret. And he set out to liberate his pride.

When Sakura lay there beneath him, pressing into him and enabling Kakashi to feel every single soft dip and curve of her body, Kakashi couldn't help but notice that he was becoming increasingly observant of her.

He noticed the way that her rosy pink hair pooled around her head. How her wide jade eyes filled with alarm, apprehension, and a niggling of growing anticipation. How her breath passed her lips in irregular huffs. The way her thighs had adjusted under his weight in accordance to his own. And the feel of the liquid warmth that had begun to radiate from the point of contact where his hips had settled into hers, the realization of which having then resulted in his swallow.

This alone nearly made him lose his cool. But Kakashi was better than that. He was self-disciplined. More refined. That is, for the most part...

When he had passed his lips from her throat to her jaw line, he had taken a humored note of how her scent was an odd mix between strawberry and honeyed oats. That voice in the back of his head seemed to be getting restless. It mentioned something about how teachers should not have been _smelling_ their students!

And then, when he'd kissed her, that little voice in the back of his head had amplified near earsplitting as though it had nabbed a megaphone and was screeching into his very eardrums. But Sakura's willingness and her moans were more than enough to coax that voice quiet.

If only for a moment.

He eventually had to pull away. He _had _to. Not only had he taken it way too far, but he had felt himself begin to get... _excited. _

And that only spelled trouble.

Imagine his surprise when timid little Sakura tugged him back into another kiss. He was stumped, torn between pulling away and kissing her back.

He couldn't bring himself to retreat, but at the same time, he couldn't exactly kiss her. If he did, he was sure that he wouldn't be able to stop it just there. He was sure that his waning sense of integrity would crumble like a house of cards.

Sakura had managed to both shock and intrigue him with her eagerness to continue and that was when Kakashi knew that he had to draw the line.

He had proved his point. It was done. Finished.

He stopped things before they had gotten too out of hand. While they both had _some_ dignity left…

Now, Kakashi wasn't a man of guilt. He wasn't guilty for dumping a bill on any and everyone present before running for the hills even when he very well knew that he could pay for the meal with plenty of money to spare. He wasn't guilty for having his students wait in frigid cold weather at the crack of dawn for a training session he was promised to be _hours_ late to. And he wasn't guilty for being tardy to important meetings that even the Hokage herself would declare.

But it was now that Kakashi most wished he'd listened to the voice in the back of his mind.

There were just some boundaries that students and teachers should have never crossed _ever_, no matter the circumstance. There was a foundation built from confidence and trust between pupil and sensei. A sacred yet fragile bond that took year after year to establish.

Why was it that Kakashi now felt as though he'd smashed into pieces whatever bond he had perhaps once shared with Sakura?

Kakashi slowed as he saw Sakura into her first-floored apartment. He stood there for a moment, wondering if he should have gone in and had a talk with her and straightened things out. It was that damn guilt, see.

Or maybe, he pondered, if it was just one of those things that one forced themselves to forget simply because the reality of it all was too mind-boggling?

He sighed. But, he knew Sakura. She was a _girl. _And if there was anything that Kakashi had learned about the opposite sex in the whole of his thirty odd years, it was that females were delicate, _tricky _creatures.

Namely Sakura.

He knew that Sakura would _say _that she was fine. But she really woudn't be. She'd pretend that nothing at all was wrong, though _really _her thoughts would actually be eating away at her inside. She'd bottle everything up, and then, she'd crack. From past experiences, Kakashi knew that a teed off Sakura meant mayhem for him and everyone else within a five mile radius.

So, Kakashi decided it was best to get this out of the way before things blew out of proportion. He'd apologize to her for being a _'dick-mo'_--so she called him--and then that would be it.

Yes. Yet another genius plan conjured by none other than our very own Kakashi.

As the silver-haired jonin made his way to Ino and Sakura's apartment door, he heard a voice.

_"Kakashi-sensei..." _it said. 

"Mm?" He blinked. It was coming from the window of to the side of the apartment. And it sounded like Sakura… Maybe she had seen him and also wanted to talk? Kakashi toddled on over to the window and peered inside. The precise second that he did, his eyebrows shot into his hairline and his Icha Icha fell clean out of his hand.

Plunk!

Kakashi was shocked still for what could have only been a split-second before he quickly snatched his book from the ground and hauled ass ninja style!

The first thing he did when he walked through the front door of his apartment was head into his bathroom. He set his dusty orange novel down to one side on the counter before tugging off his hitai-ite and pulling down his mask. He then ran the faucet and splashed cold water onto his face.

Kakashi stared dazedly into the mirror before leaning in close, squinting an eye at the wet face that glared back at him. "_You_, Hatake Kakashi, do not deserve to live among humans."

-

That night, both Sakura and Kakashi had naughty dreams…

-

_A/N: Lol! I had fun typing this chapter. It definitely kept even me guessing until the very end-- and I'm the one typing it! If you're interested, there's an illustration I made for a scene in this chapter... can you guess which scene? xD Just go to my profile to get the link._


	4. Faking it

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the series! I simply borrow them to do my bidding is all.**_

_A/N: I've been a bit busy with school starting up and everything so I haven't had as much time as I would have liked to work on KR. But, here's the next chapter anyhow! _

_Oh and in case any of you were confused by this, Sakura isn't a medic nin in here. For a bit I was still up in the air about this and whether or not to make her under Tsunade's tutelage like she is later in the series, but I decided that that wouldn't exactly tie in with the happenings of Ch. 2 if she was and it would be somewhat contradicting. XD;__ When I started this fanfic I didn't intend it to be very long and thus didn't think it through much. At this point, I'm simply typing on impulse!_

-

Kakashi's Research

Chapter 4: Faking it

-

"Sakura…"

"... Kaka…shi."

"Sakura."

"Mmmn… Kakashi."

"Sakura!"

"Mngh… Wha…?"

"Get. Off. Me. Now. _Forehead!_"

The sexy man in Sakura's dream shattered as consciousness smashed through her slumber like a wrecking ball. Materializing in his place was a very harassed looking blonde. "Ino..?" Sakura mumbled before a loud and squeaky yawn tumbled from her throat. She raised a hand to wipe the sleep from her squinty eyes before frowning. "What're you doing in my bed?"

"_Your_ bed??" Ino shrieked. "This is _my _bed!"

Sakura blinked dumbly, the words of her distressed friend taking a long moment to register in her fuzzy mind. "Mm? That's crazy. Why would I be in your… _ohmigawd! _I'm-in-your-bed!"

"That's what I've been telling you! Now get the hell off of me lesbian!" Sakura quickly scrambled off of her agitated friend(or was more or less _shoved _off), which until then she'd had one leg tossed over and her hand wrapped snuggly about her waist. "What the heck are you trying to do to me?" Ino hissed as she practically flew to the opposite end of the bed. "_Molest _me in my sleep?"

Sakura slowly sat up. "No… I wasn't. It was just, uhm…" Sakura stared at the ceiling blinking twice before her memory caught up with her. "Last night, I just got scared."

"You got _scared_? Of what? Don't tell me you still think that there's a monster in your closet! For crying out loud! You're eighteen! I told you seven years ago when you last snuck into my bed that there's no such th--"

"--No, it wasn't anything like that, Ino!" Sakura growled. "Last night I heard a noise outside my window!"

"You're… serious?" Ino asked incredulously. Sakura merely nodded. "Did you see anyone? Like one of those peeping toms?" she said before adding unnecessarily under her breath, "Though I myself find it hard to believe any man in his right mind would be trying to sneak-a-peek at _you_ in the first place…"

Sakura bristled. "Shut it, Pig!"

"Well, _did _you see someone?"

"No." Sakura shook her head. "When I looked out, there was nothing there. It was probably just a cat or something, I know, but I couldn't get to sleep after it. And so…" Sakura looked sheepish as she nodded towards Ino.

"And _so _you came running to me like the little wimp you are. Geez, Sakura, you're still as much of a baby as the day I met you."

"I am not!" Sakura retorted indignantly.

"Yeah, just don't come crawling into _my_ bed anymore, you got that Forehead?" Ino sad flatly, apparently unsympathetic towards her supposedly best friend. "_Especially _if you're going to go off and cop a feel of me when I'm sleeping!"

"I was so not trying to 'cop a feel'!" Sakura protested hotly, her cheeks burning red.

"Oh yes you were! When I woke up earlier, imagine how I felt when I found someone snuggling me and moaning '_Takahashi_ , _Takahashi!'_? Which reminds me-- why were you so upset last night and who the hell is Takahashi ? Don't tell me that whoever this Takahashi guy is dumped you?"

"Taka..hashi?" Sakura repeated, confused. "But, I don't know a Taka…" Sakura gasped.

Takahashi. Kakashi. Takahashi. Kakashi.

There were several similar syllables in the two names Sakura supposed and it was easy to see how Ino could have misinterpreted. But then, did that mean that she had been moaning her sensei's name… in her sleep? Sakura groaned before she collapsed back onto the bed.

Now she remembered. She'd had a _very_ wicked dream about herself and Kakashi. A dream that involved lotions and oils...

"Well, what happened?" Ino said loud enough to break through Sakura's day dream. She narrowed her eyes at Sakura, obviously frustrated with her friend's silence.

"I uh…" Sakura said before feigning another yawn and then blinking deliberately sleepily. She grabbed one of those frilly pink pillows she'd always teased Ino about before slinging it over her head. "Nothing," she finally muffled.

When faced with a nosy Ino, it was best to not make eye contact or to just play dead.

"_Nothing? _That's what you said last night," Ino scowled. "But I'm not buying it. What kind of fool do you take me for?"

Sakura's only response was to roll onto her side as to where Ino could only see her back. There was a brief silence in which Sakura could almost _feel _Ino's glare lasering a hole through her pillow and into the back of her skull... Finally, Ino huffed. A shift on the bed suggested that Ino had gotten up.

"Don't think I'm going to drop this, Forehead. I'll figure out what happened between you and this Takahashi-dude," came Ino's voice as she bustled around the room, presumably collecting her clothes for the day. "I don't have any time so I'll let you go for now. You're lucky it's almost seven forty-five and I have a breakfast date with a sexy ANBU boy at the teahouse before my mission today. Come to think of it, it's probably about time for you to get up too. Choji told me yesterday about how Naruto was going on and on about how Kakashi-sensei was going to be teaching you guys a new jutsu. At nine, right? I wonder what type it will b--"

"Genjutsu. And I'm not going."

Ino's footsteps stopped just short of the bedroom door. "What do you mean '_you're not going?'_"

"I'm not going," Sakura repeated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I don't feel good." Lie.

"It can't be _that _time of the month already, Sakura! And even then you've never once stayed home just because of a few lousy cramps. Don't you have like a perfect attendance record or something you've been keeping up with?"

Even if that _was_ true, Sakura knew one day wouldn't make much of a difference. "I have a cold, _Pig. _So shaddup. You sound like my mother," Sakura snapped from underneath her pillow, quick to force out a sniffle afterwards lest Ino see straight through her bogus act.

"A cold, huh?" Ino said ruminatively. "That's funny. You seemed perfectly fine a minute ago."

Sniffle. Sniff!

"Alright, alright. Just don't get any snot on my pillows," Ino grumbled as she left the room. Sakura breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

Ino was always on her case and it drove her mad! That pig should learn to keep her nose out of Sakura's business if she knew what was good for her! And besides, was it so unusual for Sakura to be sick once in a while? _Yes…_ Even if she wasn't even sick in the first place? Even if she was only pretending to have a cold just so she could worm her way out of class today?

"Gah, I'm so pathetic," Sakura muttered. Sakura wanted to smother herself with her pillow! She felt so miserable and she felt miserable _because _she was miserable.

She wanted to stay home because she was too much of a _chicken shit _to face Kakashi? And for what? For something he obviously didn't take seriously? Sakura felt like a fool for making such a big deal about nothing.

But, it wasn't _nothing._

And as much as she tried willing herself to believe that it was, she couldn't. If it was nothing, why did she feel as upset as she did? If it _was _nothing, why did she hate Kakashi for not thinking anything of what had happened that previous night?

It may have been just an empty kiss, but everything she put into it was genuine. And that was probably what upset her most. That she fell for it.

That, and the fact that the dick-mo had humiliated her!

_'Ooo.'_ She could hear Inner Sakura warbling now. _'He's going to pay for that one!,'_ she was saying. _'If it's the last thing I'll do, I'm gonna get my revenge! Cha Cha Cha!'_

Sakura fell back asleep with a smirk tugging at her mouth and with the evil rants for vengeance of her inner self ringing in her ears.

-

It only seemed like Sakura had just fallen asleep when she was again jerked awake by the sounds of someone hammering away at the apartment door. In reality, she probably had been sleeping for hours…

_Bang! Bang! Bang! _"Sakuraaa?" a familiar voice muffled through the front door so loudly she could hear it all the way from Ino's bedroom. _Bang! Bang! _"Sakura?" _Bang! Bang! Bang! _"Sakura-chaaan!" 

Sakura growled before rolling over onto her stomach and pulling her pillow over her ears. She had every intention in the world of ignoring whoever the hell that bastard turned out to be at the door. If she didn't answer, he would either go away thinking that she wasn't home or he would get the idea that he wasn't wanted and he'd leave anyways.

Unfortunately, that didn't turn out to be the case here as this person continued to pound on her door relentlessly.

_Bang! Bang! Bang! _"Sakura! Sakura-chan!" _Bang! Bang! Bangittybang! _"Sakur--" 

"What the hell do you want, Naruto!?" Sakura snarled as she whipped the door open so fast that the said boy wheeled forward and plowed straight into Sakura… his face coincidentally meeting with her chest.

There was a loud smack, a red-faced Sakura, and then there was a sheepish blonde sprawled across the floor sporting a throbbing meat-bump at the top of his head.

Apparently Naruto was so used to physical beatings by Sakura now that over the years he had become virtually immune. "Sakura, you look terrible! Just terrible! I guess you really _are _sick!"

"Naruto…" Sakura ground out, her eye twitching dangerously. This boy was the last thing she needed!

"I suppose Ino really was telling the truth when she told us you had a cold!" Naruto exclaimed, jumping to his feet like one of those punching bags asking to be slugged again. "We ran into her and the rest of Team Ten earlier as they were leaving to go on their mission and she seemed really worried! Right Sasuke?"

The nonchalant Uchiha suddenly materialized in the doorway as if on cue. Sometimes Sakura wondered if the boy simply did that to weird everybody out.

"We figured it must have been really bad if it caused you to not show up. Then me and Sasuke got really concerned, 'cuz like, you _never_ miss out on training sessions and missions! Sasuke especially was worried! He wanted to come and see you right away to see if you were okay. I told him, 'It's probably just _that _time of the month for her. You know how weird girls are when they're on their _you-know-what'_! But Sasuke wouldn't hear of it! He practically dragged me over and--OW!" Naruto was now rubbing a second lump alongside the first and an agitated Sasuke stood next to him with his culprit hand balled into a fist.

"I swear you just like hearing yourself talk. You're such a moron," Sasuke growled as he glared at Naruto. Naruto expectantly glared back. But as soon as Naruto opened his mouth to start one of those inevitable arguments, Sakura quickly cut in the manner of one who was used to intervening before he ever had the chance to.

"Well thanks for dropping by guys. But I'm fine, really!" Sakura said with a smile.

"But, Ino said you're really sick!" Naruto shot at her. Both Naruto and Sasuke both were giving her pointed looks.

"Oh, right… I am!" Sniff. Sniffy. Sniff! "I just feel a lot better than I did earlier." Sakura wasn't a good liar and she knew it, but she was relieved when the boys seemed to get off her case anyhow.

"Too bad you missed out on training today, Sakura-chan. Kakashi-sensei actually did teach us that new jutsu!" Naruto chirped, ignorant of how Sakura's cheeks pinkened and a frown tugged at her lips just when hearing the name.

"He did, did he? How did that go?" Sakura asked, schooling her tone to be light and nonchalant.

"Oh, it was awesome! Kakashi-sensei taught us the one where you focus your chakra on a tree and make it so that the roots or branches can bind your enemy! It was so neat, Sakura-chan! I wish you could'a been there! Oh, and guess what, guess what?" Naruto's face lit up as he chanted like a child, "I got Sasuke! I got Sasuke!"

"Harrumph," Sasuke scoffed. "Only because I let you."

Of course he did. Just like he '_let' _Naruto deck him the other day when he hadn't been paying attention.

"You didn't let me! I got you on my own! Believe it!"

"Well, it sounded like it was fun," Sakura cut in again, peering resolutely at the floor. "And, uhm… what about Kakashi-sensei?"

"Kakashi-sensei? He was only fifteen minutes late today if that's what you mean. He was a little bit surprised when you never showed, though. That's when we met up with Sarutobi-sensei's group as they were heading out. Ino took the chance to pounce on Sasuke with you not being there-- not that that would've stopped her in the first place…"

"Typical," Sakura injected.

"Yeah. But, that's when she told us that you were sick. And... lessee... oh! Kakashi-sensei still left early again, but when we went to Ichiraku's he wasn't there! Pervy Sage was though. He seemed a little teed off. Guess Kakashi-sensei's even started ditching the old geezer too! Which reminds me-- I forgot to ask sensei again about why he was meeting up with him!"

"I wonder where Kakashi-sensei went this time?" Sakura growled a little too sourly, "He's probably out trying to get those disgusting papers published or something."

"Disgusting papers?" Naruto said, he and Sasuke blinking at her curiously.

Sakura giggled weirdly, _too _nonchalant to truly be nonchalant. "Disgusting papers? What _papers? _I don't know about any disgusting papers!" she shrilled. Sasuke and Naruto both threw her a worried glance, probably doubting her sanity in her 'weakened state' at this point. Sakura was a bit relieved when Naruto started to complain, taking the spotlight off of herself.

"Man, am I hungry!" Naruto cried, giving his stomach a gesturing pat. "I tried getting the Ichiraku folks to give us free ramen, but they said that I wasn't getting away with any more freebies. Crap! Now I'm gonna starve for sure. I don't have anything in my fridge that isn't starting to get furry and possibly having it's own heartbeat and the only thing Sasuke-bastard has in his fridge is friggin' _tea. _Well, you got anything to eat in there, Sakura-chan?" Naruto next asked, not even awaiting an answer before he zoomed right on past her and set out to raid her kitchen.

"Naruto!" Sakura cried, only to watch Sasuke strut on past her as well.

"Oo! Ice cream!" came Naruto's voice for all in the world as if he'd just found a piece of gold. "It's not ramen, but I do love my veggies as well!"

"Ice cream isn't a vegetable, idiot."

"Naruto! Sasuke! Get out of m--"

"--Jackpot! Check it out, Sasuke! I found pocky!"

"Hm. I didn't know Sakura had mint tea…"

Sakura screamed. She did _not _feel like dealing with these two at the moment. She didn't feel like dealing with _anyone_-- let alone the little terrors of Konoha. The pair of them were a walking migraine. She simply wanted to stay home all day and sleep and relax and forget all about the mishaps of the night before. Was that too much to ask? Naruto and Sasuke both had effectively destroyed her plans of peaceful relaxation within the course of five minutes! "Naruto! Sasuke! Get out, get out, _get out_!"

After a couple moments of clambering and screeching, ten shadow clones of Naruto scurried on out the front door with over half of the food contents of her kitchen in thier greedy hands, each one chiming curtly as they past Sakura by, "Later Sakura-chan!"

Sasuke took his time as he exited behind the stampede of orange and black blurs. As he passed her he stopped, his hands in his pockets as he turned slightly to regard her with a speculative glance. Sakura blinked. "You're not sick, are you?" he asked. Sakura was quiet, almost shrinking under his gaze. Apparently the brief silence that ensued was more than enough of an answer for the Uchiha. "Didn't think so," he murmured coolly as he walked out the door leaving Sakura to gape at him until he and the multiple blondes disappeared behind a corner.

As Sakura closed and locked her door, she rubbed at her temple wearily. The pair of them had come and gone, one of them nabbing almost the entire stock of her kitchen in the blink of an eye and the other one easily seeing through her little white lie even _without_ the use of his Sharigan!

What gave her away? Was she not going through the motions right? To her credit, she _did_ sniff every now and then! Surely that was at least a tad bit convincing? Well, apparently when it came to Sasuke's all-seeing eyes, it hadn't been. Sakura frowned. And Naruto had the nerve to say that she looked _terrible? _Did she really?

Sakura pulled a self-conscious hand to her face and touched her cheek thoughtfully. She supposed her skin was kind of oily and her hair was a little bit greasy from not washing it yet and maybe she could have done with rinsing off her mascara before she went to bed last night…

That's it. She was taking a bath. And she'd only come out when she felt that she was the human equivalent to a prune!

Sakura shuffled through the living room and into the bathroom, turning on the faucet of the tub until the water ran piping hot. Next she plucked up the little box of bath beads to tip a small bit into her bath but accidentally ended up tipping over half it's contents. This earned a grumbled '_crap!_' from Sakura of course.

While the bathwater and sweet-smelling bubbles slowly began to rise, Sakura took her time to undress. As she slipped out of her decidedly lime green boxers( the ones with little cherry imprints on them) and wiggled out of her white nighty shirt and tossed the clothe articles to the floor, Sakura paused to stare at the partially nude figure that stood before her in the mirror.

She turned slightly, green eyes taking in her mediocre chest, made even more unimpressive when wrapped and smushed down within the confines of her chest bindings. She frowned at the way that when she stretched her arms over her head, her ribs were visible. The way her slim hips barely flared out and were nonexistent if compared to perhaps Ino or even Hinata! And her _forehead… _Sakura's eyes narrowed. Don't even get her started on _that _thing.

This daily scrutiny was a routine. A force of habit, really, that she'd picked up over the years. Sakura had her insecurities just like every other human female on the planet. And just like other girls, when she discovered something that she found particularly unattractive, she had that nasty habit of becoming dreadfully self-conscious about it.

Sakura divested her remaindering undergarments before proceeding to turn off the running faucet. Dipping one foot into the water, before slowly sinking in completely, Sakura hissed, "Oh…ah_… _hot-hot-_hot_!" It took a few moments for her body to adjust but when it did, Sakura instantly relaxed. "Aaah…" she purred, leaning back and resting her head against the edge of the tub, "Now _this_… is a bath!"

Sakura for the first time in the past couple days was able to unwind. She felt as if all the tension that heaped onto her shoulders was just melting away. She stewed in the hot bathwater for a good five minutes before she carried on shampooing her hair and shaving her legs.

She was halfway through the process of rinsing the strawberry scented suds out of her hair when she heard someone knocking at the front door…again. Sakura growled. "Naruto…"

Was he back to snatch whatever food left of her kitchen that he and his dumb clones hadn't managed to earlier? The little shit! Why couldn't he just leave her alone? He didn't give up earlier when she ignored him at the door and now that he knew for sure that she was home Sakura doubted Naruto would leave this time without at least being acknowledged.

Begrudgingly, Sakura climbed out of her bath, dripping and soap still amusingly clinging to her. She didn't often make habits of greeting people at the door butt naked so Sakura clumsily shrugged back into her pajama tee and boxers as she toddled to the front of the apartment. Plucking out a wedgie, Sakura glowered. She might as well have been dipped in glue as her clothes would have done as much! Throwing open the door, she growled, "What the hell do you want this time Naru…" Sakura blinked. "…to?"

Instead of a blonde-haired idiot, she found herself being stared into the face by a… _chicken?_

"Delivery for Sakura-kun," it said. Or rather, the person behind holding up the delicious-smelling container with the said chicken illustration on it's front.

Sakura peered around it to see an orange novel and an explosion of gravity-defying silver hair hovering above it. "Kakashi-sensei?" she peeped, bewildered.

"Mm," was her expected reply.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with a grimace, glancing around suspiciously as if expecting something like a surprise attack or something else equally sneaky.

Sakura did _not _want to see him. Him of all people! She'd rather _fifty_ of Naruto's shadow clones than face the object of her most recent misery.

Not to mention, Kakashi _never_ paid Sakura visits like this. He'd once given her a piggyback ride home a couple years back when she had sprained her ankle after a pretty intense C-ranked mission, but that was about it. For him to drop by so unexpectedly Sakura figured something just had to be up.

Either that or somebody died.

"Can't a teacher visit his favorite student without there being a specific reason behind it?" Kakashi said as if reading her mind, though not even lowering his book to regard her. "Besides, when my perfect attendance pupil gets ill, am I not entitled to be at least a little bit worried?"

Any anger that Sakura had felt for this man seemed to have evaporated with that one question. At the moment she couldn't remember why she had ever been mad at him... "You were worried about me, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Of course, Sakura-chan. Without you to separate Sasuke and Naruto, I was hardly able to get any reading done without the pair of them bickering every two seconds."

Oh, _now _she remembered why. He was a dick-mo.

"I'm _so_ sorry I wasn't there today to help you better neglect your duties as our teacher," Sakura said dryly as she narrowed her eyes, resisting the ever tempting urge to slam the door on his face at that very moment. There had to be some compassion in his statement _somewhere. _

"Apology accepted. So I take it Naruto and Sasuke have already come?" Kakashi asked and when hearing Sakura's telltale sigh, he continued, "Asuma's group swung by earlier. I heard one of his students, the annoying loudmouthed one, saying something about you having caught a cold."

"Oh, that was probably Ino," Sakura said, scratching the back of her damp head.

"Naruto was nonstop about coming to see you after that. He probably had to _drag _Sasuke kicking and screaming."

That's not the way Sakura had heard it. But then again, anything detailed from Naruto's gob was probably beyond exaggerated to the point were it bordered being a complete fib. This being a perfect example.

"Anyways, I thought I'd bring you some hot chicken soup to help you feel better. I was going to get miso soup for you, but I don't like miso…"

Sakura liked miso.

"There was leek soup also, but I don't like the smell of leeks."

Sakura loved the smell of leek soup.

"… not to _mention_ that the chicken was a whole lot cheaper."

So _that_ was it.

"In any case, I figured a nice cup of broth plus a good night's rest and you'll be feeling better in time for tomorrow," he said evenly, not even batting an eye in her direction as he flipped to the next page of his Icha Icha Paradise.

"Tomorrow?" Sakura echoed dumbly as she hesitantly accepted the proffered cup of chicken soup.

"Mmhm. You weren't at today's training. I have to teach you the genjutsu that you missed, don't I?" Kakashi said simply, managing to tear his gaze off of his book long enough to throw her a bemused look. "Why Sakura, you're soaked to the bone," Kakashi commented, ignorant of the '_no-shit-Sherlock!_' glare she launched his direction.

"Well, I _was _having a bath before you came along," she said flatly, tugging a foamed rosy lock before her eyes for inspection. She probably looked a mess.

Sure, Sakura looked more than just a little bit humorous, but even so, to Kakashi she was just as cute as ever.

"Mm," Kakashi hummed, his lone eye giving her a ruminative once over. His gaze wandered up her feet, along her slim ankles and softly defined calves. And then to slender legs and to her wonderfully shaped hips where her green boxers were hiked up exposing a bit of thigh, still glistening almost comically with soap suds. And then his eye traveled to her _white _cotton tee that had laminated to her like a second skin, the damp(almost see-through) fabric of which molding against her perfectly sculpted chest and portraying incredible detail. Kakashi's eyebrow gave an involuntary quirk. It was safe to assume that Sakura… was _cold. _He blinked.

Bad-train-of-thought.

Kakashi quickly pried his gaze from her and forced his attention back to his novel, if not a little bit reluctant. "You… smell nice," he murmured. "Like strawberries."

Sakura smiled sheepishly, a vague blush on her cheeks.

A brief silence lapsed between them consisting of Sakura standing there awkwardly and Kakashi reading.

Or rather, _pretending_ to.

He found that he couldn't concentrate. It was a rare thing when Kakashi discovered that he couldn't focus on his Icha Icha, but for some reason with Sakura standing there looking so damn… _exposed_ and distracting, he could not read for the life of him.

Usually Sakura would have probably offered him to come inside, but under the circumstances Sakura didn't entirely find that that would be appropriate. "Well, erm…" Sakura mumbled, "I guess I'd better go now…"

"Right. Me too. I've got a cat that needs walking," Kakashi said.

Sakura's eye twitched. Ino wasn't kidding when she said that she thought Sakura had been picking up Kakashi's lame excuses.

"I er… am feeling a lot better since this morning. But, thanks anyways for the soup," she said.

"No problem. Just make sure to get well, Sakura-chan."

"Yeah. That's right… training's tomorrow, huh?"

"Mm."

"What time?"

"Nine."

"At the oak tree?"

"Mmhm."

"Alright. Later, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said, closing the door.

"Sakura?"

The said girl stopped midway, only to swing it open again to regard him blankly. "What is it?" she asked, frowning at the sudden crestfallen manner her sensei seemed to be gazing at her with.

"About last night…" Kakashi began, scratching the back of his head awkwardly as he looked off somewhere to the side. Man. He really sucked at saying his sorrys. It was hard for Kakashi to apologize and sound truly sincere as anything and everything he ever said, if not sounding insensible, always sounded either sarcastic or just plain malicious. "Well, I--"

"--Really, don't worry about it. It's alright."

No. It _wasn't._

"Sakura, I really think we should talk about--"

"--I said it's alright, Kakashi-sensei, it's fine," Sakura persisted, evidently trying her damnedest to dodge the subject. She didn't want to talk about it, that much was obvious. "See you tomorrow then?" she said, schooling her expression to be light when inwardly, she wanted to go and stick her head in the oven.

"But, Saku--"

Slam!

Kakashi realized then that Sakura had an affinity for slamming doors. He sighed. "See you tomorrow, then…"

-

Sakura stood there with her back pressed to the door for a moment, clutching the plastic cup of soup and feeling decidedly immature. And if it was one thing Sakura hated most, it was feeling like a child.

There was her chance to talk things out and clear the air between Kakashi and herself and she cut him off, too embarrassed to even talk to him about it. And here he came all this way to see if she was alright. Bringing her chicken soup( even of she would have preferred miso…) and even trying to be the more mature of the two to come straighten things out face-to-face. And she blew him off.

The reality of it was that Sakura wasn't at all ready to forgive him. Not yet she wasn't.

After all, Inner Sakura still had some revenge to get…

-

A/N: This chapter was a bit redundant I know, but it helped me to get over my brainfart and mild case of writer's block! Don't worry, I'll make it up with the next chapter. Let's just say, you wont be too disappointed… xP


	5. Vanilla Shampoo

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the series! I simply borrow them to do my bidding is all..._**

-

Kakashi's Research

_Chapter 5: Vanilla Shampoo_

_-_

When Sakura awoke the next morning it was to the shrill calls of some unworldly demonic creature sent from hell that Sakura came to dread every morning… her alarm clock. Groping around for it blindly on her nightstand, she successfully managed to knock the thing over before becoming frustrated and yanking it completely out of its socket all together.

The alarm could only mean that it was seven-thirty. Seven-thirty... _and _a weekend, too. She just _had_ to be 'sick' yesterday...

She opened sleep-leaden eyes to blink up at the dark ceiling, marred only by streaks of light that began to filter through her window with the sun that had begun to rise.

Bah. "Time to get ready for another day of training…" she sighed as she stretched lazily, several of her joints popping in sync with its counterpart. Sakura's lips suddenly twisted into a cloying smile.

Yes, but another day of training coated in the sweet essence of revenge!

This alone was able to pry Sakura from her bed sheets and under the warm spray of her shower head. There was nothing like a nice hot shower to wake her up in the mornings! As Sakura reached for her strawberry shampoo, she narrowed her eyes. Kakashi told her that she smelled nice when she last used that…

It was then that Sakura settled for her _vanilla _scented shampoo.

An hour later Sakura walked out the front door, fully clothed and her teeth sunk into a sour green apple.

Of course, apples among the other fruits and vegetables in her kitchen were left intact from Naruto's kitchen raid from the day before. Typical, really.

Today Sakura had dressed herself in her usual ninja-esque outfit as she usually did when she knew a day of intense training was in store.

Perhaps she should have attired in a way more appropriate to the plans she had in store for later… but she didn't want her intentions to be _too _obvious. She'd rather get her payback in a more subtle kind of way.

As Sakura was making her way down the road, she munched mechanically on her fruit and peered around to soak in the lethargic atmosphere.

In a couple hours the street would flutter back to life as it always had-- businessmen bustling this way and that, peddlers trying to hook the latest sucker, children shoplifting, and the occasional shinobi poofing here and there. At least it would be a while to all mayhem let lose. Until then, the village streets were always rather peaceful.

Ino had never come home last night. The mission had probably been an all-nighter. Either that or she had afterwards went home with that ANBU guy… _again_. Wouldn't have been the first time, Sakura mused. Her meager grin died on her face.

There Ino was having a healthy eighteen-year-old relationship with a man her own age while Sakura was as much of a prude as ever but had naughty thoughts about her own _sensei_…

"Sakura-chaaan!"

Sakura blinked. "Wha?"

"You feelin' better already?" chirped the voice as its sponsor-- complete only with his signature suit of orange and black-- scampered over to her eagerly.

"Oh, yes. I'm fine Naruto," Sakura smiled with a nod. Naruto tilted his head to the side as he itched his chin. Sakura blinked.

"Maybe you should take the day off again… you're still looking a little pale, Sakura. And you've got _bags_ under your--"

"She said she's fine, Naruto," came an overly cool voice and Sakura and Naruto both looked over to see Sasuke strutting on past them.

Sakura watched as Sasuke turned off onto another road, the opposite direction of the route to the training grounds. "Where are you guys going?" she asked.

The Uchiha paused to toss a glance at her over his shoulder. "Naruto and I have a mission today."

"You both have a… mission?" Sakura asked slowly.

Sasuke merely nodded though Naruto was never one to pass up a chance to blab on infinitely. "Yup! Since we already learned that jutsu, Kakashi-sensei assigned us a mission for the day. It's only a C-ranked, though. We've got to accompany some shriveled old hag to a nearby village. I would have preferred a more exciting kind of task but this one pays good, and well-- I need more groceries! I think that old fuzzy yogurt in my fridge actually tried starting a conversation with me this morning… that is before I ate it…"

Sakura grimaced as Sasuke's right eye visibly twitched. "I see stealing all _my _food wasn't enough for you, huh?" Sakura growled, crossing her arms and tapping her foot on the ground angrily.

"Erm, well…" Naruto said, chuckling nervously. Changing the subject, he suddenly grinned cheesily. "What are _you _doing today Sakura-chan?"

Oh, just quenching her undying thirst for vengeance-- the usual.

"…I've got a training session with Kakashi-sensei to learn that genjutsu that I missed yesterday."

"How awesome!" Naruto chirped. "You'll have a blast Sakura-chan!"

Sakura didn't need Naruto to tell her that to know she was going to have a blast… An inward voice in her head cackled evilly. "Yeah I... er, Naruto? Are you alright?"

"Uwah… my stomach is starting to feel kinda funny. I don't feel so hot," Naruto mumbled with a grimace as he clutched feebly at his belly.

Sasuke and Sakura both raised an eyebrow. They'd seen _this _happen enough to know what was coming next…

"Agh! Man do I need to go take a craaaaap." Naruto screeched as he darted up and down the street in search of the nearest open shop, both hands clamped to his rear. Even when he was halfway down the road Sakura and Sasuke could both hear Naruto's high-pitched wails of "Why aren't any of these shops open?", "Where the hell am I supposed to go take a dump if all the shops are closed!?", and a personal favorite, " What the heck is _wrong_ with all you people!?"

"That's what he gets for eating talking dairy products…" Sakura sighed.

Sasuke scratched the back of his neck, irritated. "We shouldn't be surprised."

"Well, I guess I'll um… see you guys later?" Sakura said as she continued on her way. She didn't want to be around when Naruto roused every single person in the immediate vicinity. And from the sound of it, that would be in no time at all. "Tell me how your mission goes when you get back!"

"Whatever," was her reply.

-

When Sakura arrived at the seven hundred-year-old oak tree at six minutes till, she wasn't surprised to see that her sensei wasn't there. Leaning against the ancient tree's massive trunk which dwarfed her in comparison, she slid down clumsily to rest on her butt. Well, she might as _well_ get comfy.

Chances were that Kakashi was going to be hours late again only to defend his tardiness with something silly like-- _'Oh. Well, you see… I accidentally knocked myself out cold while practicing Sharingan in the mirror this morning…' _He'd used that one on them multiple times before, Sakura humored dryly, and the sad thing about it was that she actually didn't doubt that he probably _did_ knock himself out by doing just that. She would have liked to think that he'd learned better the first time!

She supposed Kakashi-sensei teetered on the boundary that separated ultimate genius and ultimate moron.

For example, one of his more moronic moments would have to have been when he came up with the great idea of deciding to come down on her just to get a lousy point across. To his credit, he did. Effectively. But that was okay… he'd pay. Dearly.

Sasuke called himself an avenger? So what did that make Sakura? Sakura snickered.

"Good morning Sakura!" a voice came and Sakura looked up, half expecting to see Kakashi perched somewhere in a nearby tree doing his version of a peace sign. Instead her eyes fell upon an incoming Rock Lee approaching her and smiling from ear-to-ear. "I see you are up for an early lesson this morning! On a weekend too? I admire your devotion!"

"Oh, mornin' Lee," Sakura said, a small smile gracing her lips. Oh, it was just Lee. "Yeah, I was si…" she trailed off suddenly. She hadn't ever been able to lie to Lee for some reason beyond her. He was so honest and amicable, it was a like a sin to lie to him. It was almost the equivalent of drowning a kitten! Sakura chewed on her cheek a moment before she continued, "I didn't come to training yesterday so I have to make it up today." Well. That at least was the truth...

"I see," Rock Lee said, beaming. "Good luck, Sakura. I hope you do well!"

"Aw, thanks," Sakura giggled. "So, where are you going?"

"No where really. I am just out for a morning jog. That is all. I have only done nine laps around the village and I still have eleven more to go." With this, Lee chuckled-- a chuckle that was becoming uncannily more and more obnoxious and like that of his sensei's all the time.

Sakura smiled. "Well, don't let me keep you."

"Well… I mean, that is… I came over to come and ask you if…" Rock Lee flushed beet red and was suddenly sweating buckets.

The pink-haired girl blinked. "What is it…?"

The flustered boy looked off somewhere to the side, his hand on the back of his head as he still imitated the color of a tomato. "I was wondering… if you would like to come to my house later on… I mean, I have developed a new taijutsu and I thought that perhaps I could show you it?"

If that was Lee's attempt at asking her out on a date, it really, _really_ sucked.

"Erm, I uh…" Sakura said forcing a smile. A smile that was much more comparable to a grimace than anything else. She bided her time for a moment.

On one hand, Lee was… well, _Lee! _Sakura had never gone out on a date before with this boy nor had ever even considered it. And to be honest, just thinking about it was nearly laughable.

But then again, he was a nice guy. Her _own_ age, too. Besides, Sakura could use a date. It could help her to get her mind off of... certain other things.

As Sakura opened her mouth to accept, another voice instead bellowed through the air. "Lee!" it boomed in the distance. "Where are you my youthful-youthy-lotus blossomer of bloomfulness?"

Both Sakura and Lee blinked. "Gai…?" Lee murmured, his ears pricking like a rabbit's. "Gai-sensei!" Lee responded with an equally obnoxious tone. If he had been female Lee'd have most definitely done a high-pitched fangirl squeal at that moment. "I'm coming sensei!" Swerving on his heel, Lee bounded off in the direction of the voice smiling brightly, calling behind his shoulder, "Sorry Sakura! I will see you later!"

"Um… no problem. See ya-- erm Lee," Sakura mumbled, more or less shocked by Lee's fickleness as opposed to being shot down in the midst of Lee's _own_ date proposal.

When it came to Gai-sensei, not even Sakura could compare to Lee's adoration for his beloved sensei...

Sakura held the back of her hand to her forehead wearily as she slumped against the tree. She couldn't believe that she was actually about to accept a date with _Lee._ She wasn't sure if she was disappointed or not when Gai squawked his interruption. Closing her eyes, she sighed.

Ho hum.

She sat there for maybe a minute before she heard that oh-so familiar greeting of, "Yo."

Sakura blinked her eyes open. Lo and behold, there was Kakashi, expectedly perched in a nearby tree like a canary with Come Come Paradise in one hand and the other one offering a lackadaisical wave.

"Only fifteen minutes late? Surely hell must be freezing over…" Sakura murmured.

"Might be," Kakashi said as he hopped to the ground. "Glad to see you're feeling better, Sakura," he said as he flicked to the next page of his novel. "Was the soup good?"

"Delicious," Sakura deadpanned. In actuality, she didn't touch it. She gave it to Ino...

A small silence then lapsed between them. For some reason, Kakashi was under the impression that Sakura was staring at him. When he looked up though, she was staring resolutely at a blade of grass that seemed to have caught her attention. That was funny. Kakashi had never thought grass to be very captivating.

"I suppose…" Kakashi sighed, finding the atmosphere decidedly unsettling. "I should get to teaching you that jutsu, then?"

"Suppose so," was her response and she shrugged a shoulder.

"Right, then," Kakashi began, feeling exceptionally awkward. "The jutsu you'll be learning today you already know to be genjutsu. You've probably seen it done or have even had it used on you at least once. Jubaku Satsu, also called Tree Binding Death, is exactly how it sounds for the most part. You simply bind your enemy using your chakra to control a tree and drive a kunai through their heart. Simple as that. Got it?" he asked, his eye crinkling pleasantly.

"Got it," Sakura replied, her eyes following one little evasive fuzzy floating on the breeze.

"Fastastic," he said, scratching his jaw. "Now for the demonstration. Step one," he murmured, deftly tucking his book into his vest as he threw her a half-hearted look. "Watch closely now. It's a little bit tricky."

Sakura observed him obediently as his hands swiftly performed the dog, snake, monkey, ox and then the tiger seals.

She didn't really know what she expected to see when he initiated the jutsu, but it never once crossed her mind that the technique would be used on her!

Sakura could only spare a surprised gasp as several roots of the very tree she'd been leant against shot out of the ground, entwining about her legs, waist and arms and pinning her to its thick trunk. She aimed an agitated look at Kakashi who simply smiled spacily. "Hilarious," she growled through grit teeth.

"This is a B-ranked jutsu meaning that usually it is only jonin that are capable of it. It is difficult and near impossible getting out of this kind of situation once you're snagged as you're limbs are bound and rendered useless and you aren't able to execute the neccessary hand signs to escape-- so _don't _ever get caught," he explained. "Naruto and Sasuke were both able to pull it off after a million experiments on each other. It wasn't without its complications though." He smiled. "I vaguely seem to recall a hysteric Sasuke stuck halfway inside a tree at least once yesterday. Now tell me that didn't warrant at least a single poke with a stick?"

"I wish I could have seen that," Sakura said with the smile Kakashi managed to coax from her. She couldnt help it though... The thought of half a frustrated Sasuke poking out of a tree and helpless to being prodded by a stick by none other than Kakashi-sensei was undeniably amusing.

"The second part to this technique…" Kakashi trailed off. Sakura nearly leapt out of her skin when he continued, his voice now coming distinctly from behind her, "…is to appear behind your enemy unnoticed. From there…" his voice was saying and Sakura's eyes went wide to find that something cold and metallic had been pressed to the juncture of her neck, tapping at it gently. "You can finish them off at your leisure for the most part."

"Under…understood," Sakura said, her throat shifting with her swallow.

"Hm... You smell different."

Sakura blushed. "I used a different shampoo." The last time Sakura used a different scented shampoo was when Pakkun mentioned to her that he used the same kind... After all, who wouldn't change shampoos when they realized that a _dog _had also used it?

"Mm. So that's it..." he hummed. "Vanilla isn't it? I like the cherry one better."

Sakura nearly wanted to say, _'I know. That's why I didn't use it.' _But she hardly was in the mood for casual chitchat when there was a kunai pointed at her throat. "Do you _mind_ getting that thing away from my neck?"

"Oh, sorry," Kakashi said with a chuckle and he tucked the kunai back into his holster pack. "Just thought it would make for helping me better get my message across."

"You'd be surprised what the message words alone could get across," Sakura said dryly.

"In any case," Kakashi said as in the next instant, he had undone the whole jutsu and released Sakura, now standing before her peering once again into his book. "Do you think you could pull it off?"

"It'll be a breeze," Sakura said confidently. "I'll have it down in five minutes flat."

"_We're_ rather confident this morning."

"Yeah and observant too."

-

Five minutes turned into ten and ten turned to twenty.

Sakura was getting frustrated. All she could get out of her attempts was the occasional stir of a root or branch. And even _then_, it was just barely. "Graagh… Come out of the ground already roots or I'll _rip _you out with my bare hands!" she snarled.

"Ah ah ah. That would be cheating," Kakashi chided, waggling a finger at her. "Come on, Sakura. You've got excellent chakra control. Put your talent to good use and do it the right way. Whatever happened to you getting this down in five minutes?"

Sakura shot him a poisonous glance. He simply smiled that smile that made her want to floor him. "Yeah, yeah," she mumbled before poising her hands and doing the necessary hand signals again.

"Well, while you practice, I've got to help a little lost bunny find his way home."

"Why can't you just say you've got to go and _pee_ like every other normal person does?"

"I'm hardly what most people would dub 'normal'….Well then, I've got to go and pee. Satisfied?"

"Definitely. Now to work on truthfully explaining your tardiness…"

"Good luck with that one. Now, if you'll excuse me."

"Puh."

-

Kakashi toddled on over to a bush a little ways off and unzipped his pants. He peered around apathetically, whistling as he did his business.

He wondered whatever happened to that one kid, Lee. Did the boy go looking around aimlessly for Gai like a little lost puppy? Poor Lee. He'd never find Gai…Gai that was never even there in the first place.

Kakashi idly pondered if his transformation impression of Gai was believable. Well, it had to have been. Lee fell for it after all and Lee knew him best. Kakashi went through all the right motions… 'Youth' this, 'lotus blossom' that. Yes. He _definitely_ nailed it.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. Well, that's what Lee got anyways. Trying to ask Sakura back to his place… the nerve of that kid. If Kakashi new anything about boys at that age it was that they were all pumped full of hormones. All of them. No matter how chaste they seemed to be they were all after one thing in the end. As far as he was concerned, he wasn't about to let any pubescent brat get their hands on his sweet little Sakura. And he wouldn't hesitate impersonating one particular brainless wonder again if it meant keeping things that way.

He hardly was able to restrain himself from _destroying_ that guy from the other day when he walked in on Sakura's little tripping bout while searching for his dropped documents. That guy that slapped _his _Sakura on the ass like she was some common whore. The only thing that stopped him from chasing after the slimy sleaze ball with a rusty kunai was the consideration of something Sakura had been trying to get across to him for the past couple years... Sakura was not a child anymore. She could hold her own. She didn't need him. That much was obvious when she sent that guy running for the hills with her venomous threat.

When the sound of liquid on foliage faltered to nothing, Kakashi zipped himself up again before making his way back towards where he last left Sakura.

He pulled out Come Come Paradise on the way, at least trying to cram a little bit of a read in before he was bombarded by Sakura's verbal abuse some more. Upon arriving to the designated area, he blinked. "I could have sworn I left her here," Kakashi said, itching his temple as he spun in a complete three-sixty looking around. "Sakura?"

It was during the next moment that two thick tree appendages crashed out of the ground beneath him. Kakashi was quick, but evidently not quick enough as he was seized by his right leg and shoulder and pulled taut against the seven-hundred year old oak. With his only free hand he attempted prying his other from its snare, but his attempts were fruitless.

Sakura appeared out of hiding, her expression smug. It was safe to say she was pleased with herself for mastering the jutsu and even more so, her catch. "Now, what was it that you told me earlier?" Sakura practically purred as she tapped a finger to her chin. "Oh, that's right. '_Don't _get caught'." She'd give him credit though. She'd only managed to snag half of him; his right leg and arm. That was good enough though as far as she was concerned.

Kakashi sighed, "Alright, you got me. Now let me go already."

"I think… _not_," Sakura said as she narrowed her eyes at him, causing his to widen in turn. "I'm not finished with you, sensei."

"You're not… wait, wha?" Kakashi said, his words failing him for what had to have been one of the fewer times of his life.

Sakura giggled. No, she _cackled. _"I said," she said, making her way over to her confused teacher, "I haven't finished with you just yet." Kakashi blinked, his strangled gulp audible as she neared him like a cat on the prowl.

She extended a hand to brush over his furrowed brow, combing her fingers through the disarray of silver locks that filtered over his headband. "Sakura, I don't think…" he sighed, but his sentence died in his throat as Sakura grasped his hip and pressed her chest to him.

For the second time within the past couple of days, Sakura made Kakashi drop his novel.

Sakura inwardly grinned as she felt him go rigid against the tree. She took pride in the way that with just a few innocent little moves that she was able to extract such a petrified reaction from Kakashi. Sakura felt very much the predator. She was the hungry lion and he was the sheep, her prey.

Sakura slowly tugged off Kakashi's hitai-ite before tossing it to the ground, leaving two mismatched eyes of black and red staring at her apprehensively. "You wont be needing this."

"Sakura…" He swallowed again as it was then that Sakura pressed her lips to the bare flesh of his newly exposed left temple, only smirking when Kakashi tilted his head away from her and cringed.

She'd have to fix that now wouldn't she?

Sakura ghosted her lips from his temple to his defined cheekbone, a small frown tugging at her lips as she met some… complications. His mask. "I've always hated this thing," she pouted, quickly resolving to deal with her obstacle. Taking the stretchy black material in her teeth, she slowly dragged her lips down Kakashi's neck, taking with it that bothersome mask as well.

Kakashi's mouth fell open to protest, but only managed a ragged breath as he thereafter felt Sakura's curious warm lips and teeth graze under his naked jawbone and neck, kissing, nibbling, _tasting _every inch of the newfound territory.

Sakura smirked. It was interesting to see how the tables had turned. Just the night before last, Kakashi had her flat across his sofa under the pretense of seduction. But now it was her turn. Her turn to show him that two could play at this game!

As confident as Sakura had seemed, inwardly she was more than a bit nervous. She hardly knew what the heck she was even doing. She was only going by previous encounters with boyfriends and even then, she had never done anything this… _bold._

But the idea of revenge was enough to keep her going strong. That, and some other funny feeling that she denied…

Bringing her head back, her breath came out in a gasp as she looked at Kakashi for the first time. _This_ Kakashi before her… without a mask.

Sakura didn't know what she expected to see here, but _normal_ had even seemed a less likelier bet than her sensei sporting an elephant's trunk.

He was handsome, she decided. He wasn't drop dead model gorgeous, though he was striking enough to fall just short of it and still make you want to melt into a steaming pile of goop. He was beautiful. There was no denying that much.

Her eyes roamed from his wary bi-colored eyes to his high cheek bones and strong jaw, drinking in the way his skin scarred through his left eye all the way down to his lower cheek. He had a nice nose, not too big nor too small. His lips, the feature that Sakura found most captivating of all, were not thick blimp lips like she'd once believed them to be. Nor were there a pair of massive buck rabbit teeth protruding from them. His lips were soft and almost edible looking. Perfect. Just like the rest of him. Sakura subconsciously sucked on her lower lip.

Six whole years it had been. Six years of constant attempts to sneak-a-peak at the mystery under his mask… But only now did she get to see it, _his_ face, after countless tries to do just this. And while she's seducing him no less? Surely this was cheating.

Judging from the soft crinkle in his brow and the way his lips slightly tugged downwards, features that Sakura would have been oblivious to otherwise, he thought it was too.

Sakura briefly questioned the thing she was about to do next. If she followed through if it really _would_ be crossing the line. But then, that same line had already been blurred and just like Kakashi had done, she was returning the favor. And so having justified her actions, Sakura leaned forward and kissed Kakashi.

She could not believe what she was doing. She couldn't believe she--Sakura Haruno--was _kissing _her own teacher. That she was kissing the most beautiful lips in existence and those lips… were not kissing her back? For a fleeting moment, panic gripped her heart and Sakura wondered if she _had_ gone too far. That Kakashi didn't want this. That he had known better than to accept advances by his students...

Well, it turned out after all that Kakashi _didn't _know better.

Any doubt that she had had was wiped clean when his unresponsive lips became receptive and slowly began to kiss her back. His responding kiss was hesitant at first, but the more Sakura's mouth and tongue coaxed him into it, the more bold his own reactions became.

Inner Sakura was delighted! _'Booyah! How do you like the taste of your own medicine! Cheeyah!'_

And if it wasn't enough that she was thrilled about him going through the motions of kissing with her, she was even more assured or herself when she felt Kakashi's single free hand lightly perch open her hip. That and the feeling of something hard brushing against her leg…

Sakura swallowed, her cheeks going red. It was safe to assume that her mission had been accomplished. _Well _accomplished by the feel of it. A certain object down south was making that much obvious. Sakura couldn't keep herself from grinning as his arousal began to become more and more apparent. The way his breath became more husky and his kiss hungrier. The way his fingers splayed possessively on her hip. The way he groaned _'Sakura…' _into her mouth…

"Payback's a _bitch_, isn't it?" she whispered into his ear.

Kakashi could hear the smirk in her voice and blinked ever so slowly. "Mm?" Sakura stepped away from the confused Kakashi, leaving him very much the vision of a kid who had just had his candy pried away from him.

Sakura simply watched him with a satisfied grin, reveling in the fruit of her labor. His deprived facial expression exposed for her viewing pleasure. How his usually steady breath had become hot and ragged. The way he seemed to fidget more and more frequently within the grasp of the offending roots.

"If _you'll _recall, being the author of it anyways, I just performed the same role as Yumi from one of the scenes?" Sakura said innocently, even tilting her head to the side. Judging by the way Kakashi's eyes narrowed slightly, he finally caught what had happened. "Well, I _did _modify it a tad to fit the circumstances but the general idea was the same."

"You…" Kakashi rasped.

"…returned the favor? Sure did. Just leveled the playing field is all, sensei."

"You horrible, _horrible_ person," Kakashi murmured, out of breath almost.

"I know," Sakura smiled sweetly. "Ah… Sucks to know that you're not as reserved as you thought, hm?"

"That doesn't count. You were kissing me and thanks to you I was unable to move. What was I supposed to do?" Kakashi frowned.

"That's exactly what _my_ situation was. When you're being mouth-raped what else_ can_ you do?" she retorted, her hands akimbo.

"Mouth-rape? I'd rather the term 'kissing', Sakura... And to my credit, you _did _kiss me back."

"So did you…" Sakura responded pointedly.

"I was forced into it against my will. 'Mouth-raped'."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, sensei. And I do prefer the term 'kissing'."

"Alright, so you were out for revenge... I can understand that much. But," Kakashi said, pulling a self-conscious hand to his cheek, "did you _have_ to remove my mask? I feel so… violated."

"I don't see why you wear masks in the first place! I rather find your face quite dashing," Sakura giggled. "It's a shame you hide it all the time."

"I've got allergies," Kakashi smirked sheepishly and Sakura's lungs nearly forgot how to work all together. Man… he was so damn _pretty_. Sakura vaguely wondered how many times he'd smiled at her the same way and she missed it...

A small silence ensued, but it was hardly the awkward type. On the contrary it was quite comfortable. The first comfortable silence Sakura had shared with Kakashi in a while. It was as though things were back to normal. That is... before Sakura spoke.

"You know, I was wholly appalled when you kissed me through your mask. And seeing as you were powerless… I guess I exploited the situation."

"Taking advantage on a helpless man, shame on you... So, not only did you take off my mask, but you did it… with your _mouth?_" Kakashi said, the amusement that would normally be only portrayed through his eyes was apparent in all his features. With what was positively a grin, he chuckled, "How incredibly kinky." Sakura's face went bright red. "I could edit that into the scene somehow..." he murmured, pulling a finger to tap his nose thoughtfully with that unmistakable pervish grin.

"You wouldn't…" Sakura gasped.

"Try me."

"If you do, I'll leave you ensnared in that tree 'till morning."

"You're bluffing."

"Am I now?" Sakura said with hooded eyes, swiveling on her heel and marching away.

"Uh… Sakura…?"

-

Three hours later Lee dropped by the training grounds for some exercise only to see a miserable jonin rooted to a tree. "Good afternoon Kakashi-sensei!" he greeted brightly with a salute.

Now, the only thing worst than Gai himself was _Mini-Gai. _And that was not only because he was equally annoying as his sensei, but it was because he fancied Sakura.

"Afternoon…" Kakashi said lacking the enthusiasm that Lee so vibrantly radiated. Kakashi was in a foul mood. Lets just say _three _hours of insufferable boredom all because his favorite novel decided to land _half-an-inch _out of his reach left him a little bit moody. He _had_ at least managed to pull his mask back up to make himself decent… for that much he was grateful. "I don't suppose you could do the reverse jutsu for this technique, could you?"

"Genjutsu?"

"Mmhm."

"Sorry. I can not help you. But… Gai-sensei can do genjutsu! I will go and get him!"

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. "Surely there is someone else?"

"Nonsense! My sensei will be more than happy to help you!" And gloat. "Speaking of which… you would not have happened to have seen him around here today by any chance?"

"Not a single time."

"That is truly strange. I was so sure that I heard him around here this morning… And I never got to hear Sakura's answer either. Could you ask her if she would still like to go out with me sometime?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at Lee. "Oh, you haven't heard? Sakura already _has_ a boyfriend."

-

A/N: Didn't I tell you that you wouldn't be disappointed? ;P At least, I hope you weren't... Tell me what you think. :D


	6. Nothing to Eat

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the series! I simply borrow them to do my bidding is all..._**

_-_

Kakashi's Research

_Chapter 1: Nothing to Eat_

_-_

"So who is he!"

"Hm?"

"Who's the unlucky dog?" Ino giggled as she playfully elbowed a very confused Sakura in the ribcage.

"Who's who?" Sakura asked, blinking ever so slowly as she rubbed at her abused side.

"It's him, isn't it?" Ino chimed, successfully cutting off Sakura's route to the kitchen.

"What're you talking about, Pig?" Sakura said bitterly, finding herself becoming rapidly annoyed with this here nosy Ino. This nosy Ino that was _always _nosy. "Now move it, I'm starving! Today's the only day of the weekend that I have completely off and I intend enjoy every minute of it!" she growled as she tried pushing past the stubborn girl.

"Not until you tell me!" Ino protested, refusing to budge until she got her desired answer. "Is it him--Takahashi?" she questioned brightly, merely grinning when her question stopped her frustrated friend's struggles as if she were put on pause.

"What? Takahashi? What the hell are you-- ew, no!" Sakura said, a little _too_ quickly for Ino's liking.

"The lady doth protest too much," Ino snickered, cocking her head to the side mischievously. "So it _is _true. I knew it!"

"Knew what?" Sakura bristled, decidedly uneasy with the tidbit of information her friend seemed to be holding captive.

"Your boyfriend."

"My _what??"_

"You heard me, Forehead. Boyfriend."

"You're delusional! I don't have a--"

"Word has it that Sakura has been going out with some unknown boy," Ino said, smiling cattily.

"You're crazy, Ino! Who told you that?"

"Oh, everyone knows, Sakura." It was common knowledge, really. Lee told Neji who told Tenten who told Ino… And now, naturally now the entirety of Konoha had caught wind of this. "I get it now! So that's why you were all pissy the other night… because this Takahashi guy dumped you! And now that you two have made up with each other, you're seeing one another, right? It all makes perfect sense now!"

"But he never _dumped_ me in the first place!" Sakura piped up when she finally got a chance to get a word in.

"Ah, so you admit it?" Ino smirked wickedly. "You _are _dating him!"

"What? No! That not what I--"

"Heh, hee hee! I haveta' go tell Tenten and the others! Later Billboard Brow!" she squeed, darting around Sakura and making a beeline for the door. Sakura could have the kitchen for all Ino cared, now! Ino had gotten her answers! And there was a flock of gossipy girls waiting with their ears pricked for the latest bit of news to digest.

"Ino!" Sakura screamed.

But it was too late. Ino had already vanished out the door, her wild cackles in the distance like nails on a chalkboard to Sakura's ears.

"I don't… believe this," Sakura said as she buried her face into her hand. Who in the world would start up such a rumor? What demon on earth would say such a stupid, _stupid_ thing!? About Sakura and Takahashi?

No, Sakura and _Kakashi._

"If I ever find out who started this, and so help me God I _will_, I'm going to destroy them!" she said, seething. It was then that her stomach gave a curious gurgling sound, effectively throwing off the mood.

Before destroying anything, she'd shut her tummy up…

Sakura trudged to her fridge, opened it and despaired. She'd forgotten! There were no more groceries! Sakura sifted frantically through random bottles and jars. Condiments. Condiments. And _more _condiments!

Nothing to eat. Nothing to eat. _Nothing_ to eat.

"Waaah… That mustard is even starting to look delicious," she mumbled, her stomach agreeing. "Damn you Naruto!" Sakura cried, slamming the fridge door shut with a wail.

Well, it seemed she'd be making a last minute trip to the market place. Sakura sighed as she dragged on over to the door and slipped into her sandals. This was not how she planned on spending her day…

-

On her way, Sakura happened to run into one know-it-all pessimist and his chubby sidekick, equipped with none other than a bag of potato chips. "Oh hey, Shikamaru… Choji." Sakura's stomach clenched when she saw the chips… which was surprising. Usually the mere sight of Choji inhaling any kind of food was enough to thoroughly rid Sakura of her appetite all together.

"Yo," was Shikamaru's response to her as he threw her a glance that said, '_what the heck do you want?'_

It was better than Choji's greeting though. His which consisted of "He--Mmngh--ll--mrrgh--o--mrengh" as soggy chip crummies sprayed from his gaping pie hole. Sakura mostly figured that that simply translated to 'hello'. That or he said 'go to hell'. But she'd have liked to think it was the former.

"So…" Shikamaru said at a weak attempt at conversation as he stretched his arms up and over his head. "I hear you've got a guy now," Shikamaru murmured offhandedly and as if expecting this, Sakura was quick to deny.

"Well, I don't!"

At this Choji stopped chewing for half a second. "That's not what I heard," he said, generously dousing Sakura with some more potato tidbits. "Ino says you've got some secret sugar daddy." Or something else equally ridiculous…

Sakura's brow twitched. Ino?? She'd managed to tell everyone _that _quick? Sakura was sick of hearing this already! Who _hadn't _Ino told? Should Sakura honestly have been surprised? With an oinker like Ino's, this was virtually inevitable… "Well, whatever that pig's been telling you guys, it's all a lie!"

"Alright," Shikamaru muttered, wincing with Sakura's shrilling, "you don't have a boyfriend. I get it. Just stop squealing already. All we said was that we've been hearing that, okay? No need to get so touchy-girly over something that is _obviously _not true." Shikamaru sighed. "I could care less who you're going out with. For I care, you could be going out with Naruto."

"Don't you even _say _that, Shikamaru," Sakura growled. "The name 'Naruto' and 'going out with' don't even belong in the same sentence together."

"Yeah, yeah," he said, his disinterest in the discussion as well as anything else productive becoming increasingly apparent. There were a million and one other useless things he could think of that he'd _rather _be doing… "Whatever."

"Where're you headin', Sakura?" Choji muffled. Sakura had by now learned to take a step back every time he spoke…

"The market place."

"Guess you should be on your way then," Shikamaru said, taking the first opportunity to squirm out of the conversation.

"Guesso."

"Mmmngh. Can I come wi--"

"No. Sorry, Choji."

-

When Sakura arrived at the market place, it was flourishing with life as usual. Much too crowded for her likings though… She even had to squeeze past several groups of people that situated themselves right in the middle of the street especially for hers and everyone else's inconvenience.

Zigzagging from food stand to food stand, Sakura haggled like crazy. She had never thought herself poor, but Sakura had often found herself quibbling with old coots over things for cheaper than the original low prices. She hadn't been on a mission for two and a half weeks straight and the demanding rent on the apartment alone had already been wearing her pockets thin as it were, even when halving it with Ino…

While making her way over to the jelly bun stand, Sakura nearly dropped all of her groceries when two very giggly men shoved through her, joining what seemed to be a mob of others gathered at the book shop. Sakura scowled. By the look of it, Jiraiya had just published another novel. He'd always racked in quite a crowd when his latest smutty piece of literature hit the book shops. But still, they were never _this _large.

"I always knew that man would try something like this one day!" Sakura could hear one man titter as she started again for the jelly bun stand.

"Yeah! I hear it's a goody too!" another one giggled.

Sakura rolled her eyes. Pigs. All of them. Nattering about a new sequel to porn…

But, the next particular comment did however make her briefly wonder... "Reading porn in broad daylight will do that to you, ya know?"

Reading porn in broad daylight… That almost sounded like…

"Mmhm. That Kakashi always did strike me as the pervert type."

Sakura froze, both bags of groceries making an unfortunate encounter with the pavement.

What did that guy just… say?

"Looks whose talkin', Kiro-- Uwaagh!"

Sakura plowed through the flock of men, sending them stumbling this way and flying the other. "Excuse me! Coming through!" she cried as she made her way to the source of everybody's attention, earning a few indignant glares from some of her victims and some snickers from others who witnessed her decidedly eager behavior to get her own copy. But Sakura didn't care! She had to see this for herself! Did that man… did that that pervy old man... actually publish… that disgusting piece of trash he called brilliant!?

And then she saw it. There, perched on the foremost rack in columns in all its filthy glory of R-ratedness, was rows and rows of…

"Kinmotsu no Koi!? By Kakashi Hatake…" Sakura read as she snatched a navy blue novel off of one of the shelves. "What. The. F--"

-

"-- uck… I spilled it all over me," Kakashi muttered as he peered down at the milk that had spilled splendidly on his vest and lap. He sighed as he stood from his seat, bringing one hand to trace the damp material abouts his mask. "Hm, wonder if that will come out…" Kakashi began to tug down the zipper of his jonin vest to maybe give it a wash(as it was one of the few of them he had that weren't somehow shredded or stained with his or some other ninja's blood) when…

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Mm?" he blinked, his attention suddenly on his apartment door. "Wonder who that could be…" he said quizzically.

BANG! BANG! BANG! Crack… BANG!

Kakashi's eyebrows raised slightly. This person seemed as though they were intending to break down his very door. And by the sound of it, that would be in no time if he continued to let them go at it… "Who is it?" he called over the jack hammering and the splintering sounds of the poor wooden boundary that separated him and this evidently upset individual.

Crack… BANG! Crunch… BANG!

"Kakashi-sensei!" came a very, _very _pissed off voice and for the longest moment, Kakashi considered not opening the door at all. If a person sounded _that _angry, it probably wasn't in his best interest to face them. But if he didn't, they'd not only break down his door completely, but they'd probably still make a lunge for his throat. And _probably_ succeed if it was the person that he thought it was… And oh how he had hoped that it wasn't.

Unlocking his door, he tentatively opened it. And lo and behold, there she was... the object of his dread, panting and red-faced… "Howdy, Sakura-chan. What a pleasant surpri--"

"--WHAT THE _FUCK_ WERE YOU THINKING, KAKASHI-SENSEI!?" she screamed, sending Kakashi's hair blowing back with the sonic blast of doom. And as if the mere volume of it wasn't enough, it echoed down the many levels of the staircases…

Yay. Now everyone in his building probably had their ears pressed to their doors, ceilings and walls.

"Thinking? Well, if you must know, I was just thinking how I've been craving dangos lately…"

"I can't believe you! You actually went out and _published _this crap!" she cried, shoving the blue book into Kakashi's face as though he'd had a sight impediment.

"Oh, that. Did you come by for an autograph?" he chuckled as he massaged his ear, trying but being unsuccessful with his attempt of ridding himself of that funny ringing sound at the back of it. He was quick to shut up though when Sakura's un-amused _'I'll-fucking-kill-you!' _aura flashed at him with her glare.

"Did you even think about how this would effect your students, asshole?!"

"Students wouldn't ever think to call their teachers an _asshole_…"

"People are going to see us as 'the kids whose sensei writes porn'!"

"Jiraiya has students… and they all turned out fine." Yes, if Akatsuki spelled fine.

"People are gonna laugh, sensei! People are gonna _laugh!_"

"So let them. Your popularity statuses will rise."

"I don't want to be popular like that! People are already rumoring stuff about me having a boyfriend!"

"Huh," Kakashi said, fingering a splinter in his doorframe distractedly. "Are they really?" he asked, schooling his voice to be disbelieving without much effort.

"I don't even have a boyfriend! If I ever find out who started that rumor… I'll… _I'll…!_" Sakura threw her hands into her hair and for a moment, Kakashi thought she'd tear it out.

"Don't you think that perhaps you're making too much of a big deal about this?" he asked quietly, pausing his picking ministrations at the door as his eye peered over at her.

"No, I don't!" Sakura replied hotly, her green eyes narrowing. She opened her mouth to say something else… when she suddenly quirked an eyebrow at him. Kakashi quirked his in return. "What… have _you _been doing?"

"Mm?" he blinked, bemused.

"Your vest is unzipped… and oh God. What is that _white _stuff on your mask? Is that…?"

"…Oh. It's milk," Kakashi said, his eye crinkling as he rubbed at the indicated 'white stuff' on his facemask. "Why…?" he said, his voice curious, "what did _you_ think it was?"

She was silent for a few seconds. "I… I thought it was milk."

"Sure you did," he _said_, though Sakura didn't have to have x-ray vision to know that he was grinning. And she knew that he didn't need her to tell him for him to know what she'd originally thought it was…

"Don't change the subject!" she growled.

"_You_ changed it… thinking that your sensei has been doing naughty things…" he smirked. "You're such a pervert."

"I'm not a pervert! _You're _the one who wrote this!" she said, skillfully side-stepping more pervert jibes while simultaneously keeping the topic on the subject at hand. "You actually had the gall to publish it, too! I didn't think you'd actually do it! I figured you at least had _some_ inhibitions! But ap-par-rent-ly I was wrong!"

"Inhibitions… now why would anyone need those?"

"Oh. My. God. My teacher… is an idiot."

"I think you mean _genius_."

"No! I mean idio--"

Grrruuuuwwwwrrrggggh.

Kakashi and Sakura both blinked. "Are you… hungry?" he asked, though by the sound of it, he was asking the obvious.

"Oh, stop it…" Sakura's stomach gave another embarrassingly loud groan. "The word 'hungry' is even starting to sound appetizing."

"You haven't eaten?" he asked, a bit concerned.

"I… well, Naruto… and I went to the… and I… but then I saw the… and so I ran all the way…" And then she gasped. "I forgot my groceries!"

"You could always just… buy more?" Kakashi suggested weakly.

"I don't have any money left. I spent the last of it… on those groceries and that book… and I… I," she swallowed as if it was becoming increasingly hard to speak because of a persistent frog in her throat. Her stomach growled again and she was starting to look as if she might break down and cry any second.

She was the very picture of miserable. The only things missing now were sad music, rain, and perhaps a blind puppy…

"Sakura-chan…" Kakashi sighed softly, tilting his head to the side. She was giving him one hell of a guilt trip. And she was doing it without even realizing it. And the guilt trip probably would have worked on Kakashi like water off a duck's back like it usually did… had he not felt as though he was the indirect cause for all of this. "Come on. I'll take you to get something to eat…" he said, scratching at the back of his head as he inwardly cursed himself for being a sucker.

"You're paying?" she snuffed.

"Of course, I'm paying. My treat."

"Do you mean it?" she asked, narrowing waterlogged eyes at him. "Sensei, do you _really _mean it? I told you, I'm broke… I wont be able to pay for anything if you decide to pull one of your disappearing acts and dump the bill on me… And it would be really, really mean. I don't have _any _money-- not a single ryo to my name right now, and I'd never forgive you if you did, not ever! Not to mention, how would I get enough money to pay for--"

"Sakura. _I'll _pay for it," Kakashi said, planting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Sometimes, it almost stung how it seemed his students had no faith in him. None _whatsoever. _He was sorry that she felt that she had to clarify the terms of the meal before accepting an invitation to eat with him. Kakashi was surprised that she didn't force him to sign some contract of some sort in blood. But then again, he couldn't blame her. He supposed that he could be undependable at times. Okay... who was he kidding? _All _the time.

And he hardly cared to mention the _several _ways that came to mind that a cute girl might possibly get the money…

"Now, where does my favorite girl want to eat?" he asked pleasantly.

"You're paying _and _letting me pick the place, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura smiled while rubbing her eyes and Kakashi couldn't help but to smile in return. Her smile was contagious.

"Mmhm. Any place. I can afford it."

Oh, how could he resist…

-

He should have resisted, he _should _have resisted.

"You want to eat… here?" he asked her and when she nodded, smiling from ear to ear as she gazed excitedly at the restaurant with big, green, googly eyes, he found that he didn't have it in him to tell her that this was perhaps going a little bit overboard. Originally when he'd offered to take her out, he had meant to a place like Ichiraku or that barbeque shop down the road. But this… _this...?_

Damn. Now this was going to be a certain bite out of his wallet. Trust Sakura to pick the most pricey restaurant in the immediate area… And he was sure she'd have picked more expensive had she had the willpower and energy to do so.

But, Sakura by now was probably on the verge of gnawing off her own foot. Heck, he didn't doubt that she'd eat _him _if only she'd had a fork.

"Come on, sensei! Come on, come on, come on!" Sakura looped her arm about his and frantically tugged the unwilling Kakashi through the classy front door. His deadweight didn't seem to faze her though.

"Sakura…" he sighed, peering around cautiously as though some swarm of money-sucking mosquitoes would assault him. But, as much as he didn't care to think so, she'd had him from the start when she flashed him that adorable little smile that before seemed to have become sparse.

"Seating for two!" Sakura chirped ecstatically to the receptionist at the front desk.

"Oh… right this way, ma'am," the woman said before she led the reluctant Kakashi(still in tow behind Sakura of course) into a particularly fancy area.

As they were assigned their seats at a small and swanky white-clothed round-table, Sakura practically flew to her seat. Kakashi was a bit more hesitant to sit though... He couldn't help but to notice how this was the kind of couples restaurant that men took their gals to when they were about to pop the big question. Kakashi threw one more glum glance around the room as though he were willing a hurricane to smash through the restaurant, but seeing as how none ever did, he accepted that he didn't have magic powers and took his seat. A waiter instantly supplied them both with menus, which Sakura took all but three seconds to look at…

"I'll take the tempura tendon, some eggrolls, and miso soup with tofu and spring onion…" she said, before adding on with a smirk. "Oh, and some sake, please!"

"I didn't know you drank," Kakashi commented, arching his brow.

"I don't," she smiled.

"Then why…"

"Why not? _You're _paying after all."

"Ah. Exploiting the situation?"

"Of course."

"And for you, sir?" the waiter asked.

"I'll just have water, thanks," Kakashi said politely as he promptly closed his menu and held it out for the waiter to take. Kakashi hoped their water was free...

"You're no fun at all, sensei!" Sakura chided him before she looked to the waiter and smiled. "He'll have some sake, too!"

"Trying to get me drunk on the first date, huh, Sakura?" Kakashi teased, a single crow's foot in the corner of his eye forming with his telltale grin.

Sakura blushed a tad and narrowed her eyes, but was smirking all the same. "Of _course _I am. After all, what better do I have to do than to get you plastered? You know what? Think I may even have a ruffie in my pocket somewhere…"

The waiter was beginning to look very, _very_ uncomfortable. "I'll… I'll be back with your orders shortly," he said quickly before leaving the area.

Kakashi and Sakura both stared at each other for a brief moment before Sakura burst into a fit of giggles. Even Kakashi could be heard snickering. "Did you see his face when I said that?" Sakura said laughing, both hands clamped to her sides.

"Poor boy," Kakashi chuckled.

"Oh, ow-o… too hungry… heh heh… hurts to laugh…" Sakura wheezed, "Ha ha ha, ouch, hee hee!"

Sakura and Kakashi earned several disapproving glances from the couples at the other tables they'd disturbed, but they hardly seemed to care. Kakashi even winked at one man who dared to look over at them, and to his amusement, that said man didn't look back over again...

For the next few minutes, a rather enjoyable comfortable silence lapsed between them. Sakura found that awkward silences between herself and Kakashi were becoming less and far in between. And that was more than likely because there wasn't much for them to really be embarrassed about anymore.. They had after all kissed one another!

Soon, their orders were served to them by one very flustered looking waiter. And it didn't help matters the way Sakura and Kakashi both were smirking at him. It was no surprise that he seemed a little eager to leave… Poor man. He probably didn't get paid enough to do this.

Kakashi observed Sakura curiously as she positively destroyed her tempura plate with a sloppiness that was probably unbecoming of a flower. For whatever reason though, Kakashi found this manner lacking Sakura quite endearing.

"So, you bought my book, huh?" Kakashi finally asked as he sipped the sake that Sakura had ordered for him… that-he-didn't-really-want-but-might-as-_well-_drink-because-it-was-so-damn-expensive.

"Had to," Sakura muffled as she slurped up a bit of miso. Wiping her mouth on her sleeve, she grimaced. "Didn't really want to be caught stealing porn. Though I kinda wished I _had _stolen it. Every man in the shop was leering at me when they saw me purchasing _that… _"

Kakashi wasn't keen on trying to imagine other men looking at her like that, but the image of a beet-red Sakura buying a pornographic novel was still quite amusing. "Have you read any of it yet?" Kakashi asked with a smile. "There's a scene in there that was inspired by you, you know."

Sakura's eyes widened with dread. "You did _not…_"

"I beg to differ," he said smugly, absorbing her horror-struck expression like a sponge.

"W-why? Why, why, _why_ would you do it?" Sakura stammered.

"Well, I had a lot of time to think about it when I spent _six _whole hours trapped to a tree with no other means of entertainment." Yup. Turned out that it took Lee a while longer before he ever found Gai, and even after that, if it wasn't enough that Gai was nonstop rubbing Kakashi's predicament in his face and about how he needed _Gai's_ help, it took another hour or so for him to figure out how to do the necessary genjutsu to negate the original…

Ibiki thought he knew torture? Well, let him have a go at being helplessly trapped to a tree with Gai and Mini-Gai both senselessly yammering away in his ear.

"Besides, it would have been a complete waste if I didn't include that kinky little stunt you pulled," he said, gazing wistfully into space as he took another sip from his beverage. "Mm. I'm starting to see why Jiraiya-sama researches now. Makes for fantastic inspiration."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. He just smiled. "I hate you," she said before taking a long drought from her decidedly bitter sake.

Kakashi made a noise that was best described as a giggle, whether it be from Sakura's having spluttered most of what she'd downed or if it was what she said, who knew? "I know you do. But, however much you _think _you hate me, in actuality you love me five times more than that. Can't argue with logic, you know."

"Does it hurt your back when you do that?"

"Mm? When I do what?"

"When you kiss your own ass like that!" she growled.

-

_A/N: Heh heh. I think after this chapter, everything will begin to get interesting... ;) Stay tuned!_


	7. Elite ManEating Turkeynin

****

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the series! I simply borrow them to do my bidding is all...

-

Kakashi's Research

Chapter 7: Elite Man-Eating Turkeynin

-

'Yura giggled as she gave the scarf an experimental tug, making sure each of his limbs were secured to their designated posts before she shot him an impish glance. "Get comfy," she purred. "I wont be finishing with you for a while."'

She did not say that.

'She slipped onto the bed and crawled over to the helpless Tetsuya and before the blindfolded man knew it, she had straddled his stomach causing his abdominal muscles to tense beneath her. "Relax, baby. Let Yura-chan make you feel aaall better," she smiled.'

She did not say that.

'Yura angled forward and deftly dragged her hips backwards, resulting in Tetsuya's breathy groan as she deliberately teased his rapidly growing erection. He gasped as Yura ground against him once more. "What's wrong?" she asked innocently before she repeated the process again for good measure-- just to see him writhe, and because she knew that she had the power to do it."

Okay. She definitely didn't do that.

'Yura bent down to linger a warm kiss to his bottom lip, a chaste kiss that contradicted her wicked and insensitive intentions. Had he not also been gagged at the time, Tetsuya probably would have given Yura one hell of an earful. It was then that she finally seized the scarf stuffed in his mouth with her lips and slowly began to peel it down his chin, and --"

"You know, you once told me that it was a crime against Konoha's virtue to read that kind of material in broad daylight…"

Sakura jumped, the blue book she'd clutched in her hands going airborne for all of two seconds before the said girl clumsily caught it again. "Ugh! Quit always popping up like that!" Sakura snapped before chakra-launching the book-- make that_ hardback book_-- at Kakashi's head. Just to prove to her that even her chakra could never compare to his unanimous awesomeness, and perhaps also to avoid sustaining a concussion, he reached up with one lazy hand and peered fondly at the thing he'd seconds before plucked out of the air.

"In any event, I'm flattered. I take it that you like it?" he smiled as he hopped from his perch on the telephone pole. "You wouldn't believe my ratings and it's only been out for a day now. I've got fans, Sakura, fans. So many, I think, that that's the reason Jiraiya threw me that nasty look this morning… Seems I might be stealing some of his patrons." Kakashi chuckled bashfully, "What can I say? I'm a celebrity."

"My, my, sensei. Are you bragging?" Sakura said dryly. "Now, give it back. I paid the last of my ryo on that trash and I'll be damned if I'll let you keep it." She made a grab for it just in time to see Kakashi effortlessly hold it out of her reach. Sakura then cursed her being vertically challenged.

"Hey. Last time _I_ checked, objects thrown at _my _head belong to _me_," he said as he watched Sakura hop up and down in a frantic but feeble attempt to retrieve the book he waggled so cruelly just out of her grasp.

"Since when!?"

"Since now when the situation presented itself," he replied with a small laugh.

Kakashi stared at her for a brief moment, just in time to see her poke out a lower lip and give him the infamous puppy eyes act. He rolled his own eye in return. "That doesn't work anymore on me, you know, Sakura. That stopped working when you were fourteen--" The cuteness had gone. She'd began to 'fill out' at that time… "-- Save it for some unwitting fool like Naruto."

In a flash, her cherubic act disappeared and she resorted to jumping up and down once again like a little babboon. Sakura drummed almost pathetically on his chest and protested in a voice that came out much more whiney and childish than she'd have liked, "But, se-en-sei! It's _mine!_"

"What would you be willing to do to get it back?" he asked. For some reason beyond him though, that seem to have come out a little bit more questionable than he had intended it to.

It was then that he had to take a step back to avoid one swift kick to the shins. "Keep it, you perv. I'm not that desperate!" she grumbled, a distinct blush on her cheeks as she crossed her arms. "Though I don't see _why _you'd want it. You're the one who wrote that garbage. You should know it inside and out. Not to mention, you probably have millions and millions of them in your apartment everywhere. Copies that I didn't pay for with my own money. Copies that a sweet, _innocent _girl didn't p--"

"Sakura… I was only teasing. Here," Kakashi said, scratching at the back of his head. He might have liked to think that he was immune to her puppy dog eyes, but he had never been too keen on her rants. As she snatched the book from him, he smiled knowingly, "You like it after all, hm?"

"No," Sakura glared. "I _have _to read it. Not because I want to, but because you actually put that… _scene _in it. I had to see what was indirectly written about me! And I didn't even do anything like that! Not really, anyway…"

"I only made things a tad more interesting," he said innocently, "Nothing that you should be ashamed of. In fact, I've been getting several comments about it. Apparently, people seem to enjoy that particular scene. They call it… _'spicy'_."

"Unbelievable."

"And I thought," he continued, despite that glare that burned into the side of his skull that would put Swiss cheese to shame, "rather than continue that decidedly _cruel _game we had going, I thought that this would be the more civil way to satisfy the roll of payback. 'Payback's a bitch' after all," he chuckled, gazing fondly at the sky as he rubbed his chin.

After a moment's silence, Sakura grumbled as she sucked on her teeth, "You're thinking about it, aren't you?"

"I'm thinking about kittens," he answered.

"Liar."

"Kittens aside, are you ready?" he said. "I expect _he's_ growing impatient…"

"Only because _you _decide to show up an hour or more late, as always. I'll be surprised if we even get half the pay now! You remember how stingy that old geezer was last time," Sakura growled as she stuffed Kinmotsu no Koi into her pack and heaved it over her shoulder.

Kakashi turned and started down the road, moments after, Sakura trailing behind. "Yes. He was a little bit rash, wasn't he?" he said.

Sakura sighed. She could hardly blame the old man. She'd be pissed off too if every time she requested a simple chore to be done, the people who tended it turned up late. "Well, I really hope he isn't this time. I don't think you'll fancy taking me out to eat for the next week--" Kakashi rolled his eyes. His wallet was still screaming from yesterday. "-- Maybe if I strike him as a sweet, polite gal," she practiced a toothy smile while lacing her fingers together, "then he wont shave as much of our pay off?"

When Kakashi made a sound that oddly sounded like _'yeah-right!' _in the form of a throat clear, Sakura threw him a sour look. "What?" she murmured darkly.

"I didn't say anything," Kakashi said as he peered into Icha Icha(when he'd pulled that thing out Sakura didn't know).

Sakura frowned. "What? You don't think I could do it?"

"I… never said that," Kakashi murmured, flipping through the pages distractedly.

"You don't, do you? Just watch me, sensei. I'll turn on the charm," Sakura said, batting her lashes.

"You do realize that this cheap man will be looking for any and every reason to deduct from our pay, right? Regardless if we're late or not, he'll find something," Kakashi told her as though he'd had this customer many times before-- and Sakura didn't doubt that he had even way more than she did.

"Yeah, yeah. Tell you what, I bet you that not only will I get him to pay us what the mission originally charged, but I'll get him to tip us extra even!"

"Unless you plan on giving the man a lap dance, I seem to find this _highly _unlikely. In contrast to Hiroshi-sama's name, he is not a very generous man," Kakashi said, "We don't need our clients dying of heart attacks anyway, Sakura."

Sakura narrowed her eyes as she glared daggers at the back of his head. "Oh, because that's the only way I could do it," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I bet you I could do it without doing anything of that nature."

Before she knew what was happening, she found herself staring at Kakashi's rear. How her gaze had roved from the back of his head all the way down to his butt was beyond her, really. But it was there. And she was looking. Shamelessly looking. In fact, it was so to a degree where she found herself wondering how a guy could get his butt so incredibly firm-looking. And the worst thing of all was, she next wondered whether or not it _felt_ as firm as it looked...

Because of her being preoccupied, she failed to see that sneaky little hole in the ground that Kakashi had moments before avoided. And because of this, with a squeak of dismay, she was sent on a pleasant trip forward.

"Pothole," Kakashi hummed, though unnecessarily as Sakura's infamous forehead had already connected with his shoulder blades by this time.

"Thanks…" her muffled voice growled bitterly, "…for the warning." Separating her face from his back, perhaps she took her time in doing so, she dogged around him so as to where they were walking side-by-side. Removing the distraction!

She could not... believe what she'd moments before been doing! Kakashi was right; she was a _pervert!_ Who did that? Trip because they were checking out their teacher's butt? Trip _because _they were wondering what it felt like??

This was his fault. It was him. He was the reason that she'd done it. Damn that Kakashi and his stupid book!

Sakura glowered at him while rubbing her forehead."Did you hear me, sensei?"

"Yes. You're grateful. I get it."

"No, not that! About me being able to win him over without giving Hiroshi a… lap dance."

"Don't you think that instead of thinking about giving people lap dances, that perhaps you should occupy yourself with rectifying your horrid vigilance. This is the _second _time you've bumped into me, isn't it?"

"Don't change the subject!"

Kakashi sighed. She really wouldn't give up on this… "So, you're _really _wanting to bet me on this, are you?"

"Yup," she said flatly. She wanted him to take her seriously. Even if this was a petty thing to bet over, Sakura wanted him to at least acknowledge her. Especially now when she wanted to impress him.

"Well, if we're going to bet, I want a valid one," he said, his gaze still on his book, but Sakura's now blinking up him perplexedly.

"What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously.

"How about this; if you win, you can keep all of the earnings of this mission and half of my next paycheck for my next one…" He ignored the way Sakura's eyes went all wide and googly as she gasped in disbelief. "… But, if _I _win…" The look on Sakura's face went from astonishment to just plain wary. For a moment, she thought that his next words would be perverse in one way or another. But then, Kakashi scarcely ever did what was expected of him; "...you'll have to treat _me _to dinner."

"But, I don't have any money!" Sakura murmured in a 'no-duh!' fashion.

"I never asked for any," Kakashi said, lifting his gaze from his novel to cast a signature eye crinkle over his shoulder. "That would sort of defeat the purpose of requesting this mission, I'm thinking, when the only reason we asked for this simple D-ranked is to get you some extra cash. Besides, I was thinking something along the lines of you cooking for me."

"… I don't _have _groceries."

"…when you get some," Kakashi finished. "Or, if I'm feeling especially hungry later on, _I've_ got some groceries. Granted, there's probably not much of a selection to choose from. But, that's okay. I usually only keep to just a few food groups, anyway. I've been in a kind of 'beef stir-fry and rice' kind of mood as of the late…"

"You seem rather confident for a person who is about to cough up two paychecks to me," Sakura huffed.

"That's because that person never loses. Ever," Kakashi said arrogantly.

"We'll see, old man, we'll see." Sakura deliberately ignored the indignant glare that her sensei shot in her direction, satisfied as the telltale smirk that crawled onto her face.

-

A twenty odd minute walk left the urban surroundings to make a gradual fade into country. Sakura and Kakashi spent the majority of their walk in remote silence, Kakashi expectedly reading and Sakura admiring the mildly wooded scenery; the same scenery that she'd watched the same way so many times before when leaving the town for a mission but never once lost her muse for.

It was peaceful, Sakura decided. A pleasant change from the concrete jungle she lived in. Even so, as nice as it was out here, she didn't think she could ever live out here in the middle of nowhere(yes, a twenty minute's walking distance from the nearest shop was the middle of nowhere to Sakura…).

When they finally arrived to their client's estate, Sakura briefly marveled at its grand size like she'd done each and every time before. The place was simply huge, wealthy, but in a modest kind of way that didn't flaunt much, but still reminded her how poor she was in comparison.

As Sakura and Kakashi strolled down the vast walkway, Sakura aimed him a warning glance. "Don't you say a single word to him-- not a word. Understand?" she said flatly. For some reason, Kakashi only had to say two words to piss this guy off. Granted, those two words were often sarcastic or demeaning in one way or another...

Kakashi shrugged a shoulder and nodded. Yes, he understood. But his understanding what he was told to do and following directions were two entirely separate things as far as he was concerned. "Humor me," he said with an eye smile.

Sakura knocked on the door and patiently waited as she thought over what she was going to say to the old man. "_I'm so sorry we're late, sir," _she'd say. "_You see, we were attacked by sound ninja on the way and we barely escaped with our lives, but we're here now and ready to do chores!" _This made her roll her eyes. Her excuses were becoming lamer! Damn that Kakashi!

During the wait, Sakura mentally fussed over the best way to get on the good side of an old bug-eyed fogey without giving him potential heart failure. She scoffed at her sensei's former implication that the only way she could get favorable payment was by quid pro quo or something equally lewd.

At this thought, she glared at Kakashi over her shoulder, and though he seemed absorbed in his novel as usual, she could tell by that subtle quirk of the lip that he was paying attention. That, or he had just read something especially naughty. But she'd like to think it was the former.

There was a slight rustling behind the great oak door before it gradually creaked open. Sakura quickly faced around, brandishing that cutesy smile she'd practiced so many other times before on Naruto and Sasuke to beguile them into doing things for her. "We're so sorry we're…" Sakura's bright smile suddenly drooped into something more decidedly embarrassed,"...late.".

-

The moment that door opened, even without Sharingan, Kakashi saw evil in its purist single forms. He could sense it. Demons, delivered straight from the fiery pits of hell.

Kakashi was nearly blinded when a double dose of bright light delivered from the combination of identical shiny bowl cuts and two sets of impossibly white teeth made his eyeball want to implode... There was a gasp. And then a cry of, "Oh, S-Sakura!"

Kakashi's hand made an involuntary twitch towards his thigh holster as for some reason… a kunai seemed a more favorable item in his hands than a book at the moment.

However, when a blatant cry of "Eternal rival!" met his ears, Kakashi took a slight step backwards, mildly alarmed to say in the least. For a moment, he was the very image of a deer caught in headlights. And, just like a deer, that fleeting instinct to bolt ran him through. But that was always his mind's first impulsive reaction to the site of… _him. _What on earth was _he_ doing here anyway? "… Gai?"

At the doorway stood one very bold looking caterpillar-browed sensei and his duplicate, both with jumpsuit sleeves and legs rolled up, inflicting a horrid display of a bit more furry flesh than Kakashi cared to see. In contrast to his teacher though, the youngest of the two sported one very frilly pink apron and his forearms were wet and soapy-- the very image of a stereotypical housewife almost, save for the foamy slicked arm hairs.

Kakashi might have aimed a demeaning comment about Mini-Gai's tasteful choice of apparel had he the mind to, but as it were, he was mildly distracted with the curious little predicament that he'd found himself in at the moment.

It was great. Just fan-freaking-tastic. Not only was Gai here, but so was Lee. Sure, on any given day that spelled depletion of brain cells for Kakashi and anyone else who gave them a mind to listen, but now, especially now, interaction with the witless wonders might promote… future issues.

If he could recall, Kakashi might, just _might_ have impersonated a certain somebody to ensure that a certain somebody else didn't get asked out by another mini-somebody…

At the time, diverting Lee's attention by posing as Gai in Kakashi's mind seemed absolutely ingenious. But only now that he found himself confronted with the fruit of his labor did he find that perhaps this hadn't been as brilliant as he initially figured when he pulled that last minute stunt. With Sakura here, Lee here, _and _Gai, things were bound to unravel.

This could be problematic.

Gai, brandishing a feather-duster, complete with cobwebs and dust danglies, effectively waggled the thing in Kakashi's direction for lack of anything better to use; "It was fate!" he exclaimed in a singsong fashion that quickly made Kakashi bring a hand up in a wave of dismissal.

"Coincidence, _purely _coincidence, I'm sure," Kakashi drawled in turn, "we've obviously gotten the wrong place." As if. They were in the right place and he knew it. This was the only estate in the area and the odds of them mistaking it for another were slim to zero. "Come on, Sakura. We're leaving," Kakashi decidedly said, already retreating.

"But this _is _Hiroshi's---"

"--Whose at the door!?" a grouchy old voice abruptly hollered, cutting Sakura off in the middle of her sentence with a start. "Is it that dumb ass, Kakashi and his fuck-up students?"

Gai chuckled before curling his hand to his mouth and calling back into the house, "Yes, Hiroshi-sama! Were you expecting them?"

"I expected that prick and the runts here two hours ago!" growled the gruff voice. "Send that bastard inside!"

Lee lightly pressed his hand to his heart and sighed, "He's such a loving old man." Scary thing was though, he wasn't being sarcastic.

With a reluctance only otherwise known to an off Shikamaru sentenced to a bout of anything that didn't consist of cloud watching, Kakashi cut off Gai before he ever even had a chance to say anything. "Coming," he sighed.

Why did it have to be that Kakashi's least favorite people in the entirety of the world that was hell had to all be here at the same time? It was a damn conspiracy.

When passing by his bubblegum-haired student, he didn't fail to see how she had been grinning at him. Likely from the rather colorful terms of endearment that Hiroshi had used to address him and promised, by the sound of it, to _soon _use to address him. Kakashi didn't doubt that Hiroshi would exhaust his vocabulary several times over by the time this was finished.

Kakashi made sure not to give either of the bowl-cut twins eye contact as he entered the house as any display of acknowledgement to any one of them on his part was a liable way to unknowingly consent to their mindless babbling. And that was the very last thing he wanted to do for obvious reasons under the exceptionally tricky circumstances...

-

Sakura had been, at the time, mildly startled when she was greeted at the front door of Hiroshi's gigantean house by Lee and Gai(but not nearly as startled as her sensei). "What're you guys doing here?" she asked after Kakashi, followed by an upbeat Gai, disappeared into the dreaded house.

Lee, if not anything else, was simply thrilled. Clasping two soapy hands together with a bright smile, he eagerly enlightened her; "Our team was called earlier to help Hiroshi-sama with some housework. We have not been here long." He suddenly added wistfully, "Did they send for Team Seven to help as well?"

"Yes… well, not exactly," Sakura laughed embarrassedly, "we were actually supposed to have been here two whole hours ago."

As if on cue, there began a tirade of rowdy verbal assaults from inside and Sakura could only just picture her sensei stood there in front of the foulmouthed fogy, typically ignoring the old man as he had at him like Kakashi even gave a damn-- and which she knew he didn't. "Where the fuck have you been?" she heard Hiroshi snarl.

And then came Kakashi's notorious prologue of "Well, you see…" as he always had done for a second's stalling as he thought up some ridiculous lie, and she wasn't disappointed when she next heard, "we were attacked by a flock of birds. Let me ask you, have you ever heard of Iwa's infamous Elite Man-Eating Turkeynin? Vicious things they are."

"Is that true?" Lee whispered, raising two thick and fuzzy eyebrows in surprise as he pointed over his shoulder.

"'Fraid not," Sakura sighed, tucking a pink lock behind her ear.

"So then, he was just…"

"Yup," she answered before Lee even had to finish questioning her sensei's typical tardiness.

"Ah. So _that_ is what happened," Lee murmured, sympathizing like he always did with her. "I remember something being mentioned about how another team never showed up…" With Sakura's telltale frown, Rock Lee added hastily, "but you are all here now and that is what matters, is it not?"

"Well… yeah, I guess," she said quietly as she slowly entered the household. Though really, she didn't see much purpose for staying now that back-up had arrived. "By the looks of it," she looked to the hot pink apron fastened to his front with a laugh, "you and Gai-sensei have got a handle on things. I think we'll just go back to the Hokage Tower or something to request some other mission."

Lee didn't like the direction in which things were headed. "Could you not just stay here?" he asked disappointedly, coupled with an inward tilt of the eyebrows. "I am sure that Hiroshi-sama would not mind."

Sakura shook her head, "By the sound of it… I honestly don't think the man will want to pay us now, let alone keep us on his property!"

Rock Lee opened his mouth, though he was cut off with another girl's cry of "Look Neji! Sakura's here!"

A stubborn Hyuga rag doll tugged haplessly at the hand by one very giggly Tenten suddenly appeared at the doorway at Lee's side.

"Oh, hiya Tenten!" Sakura waved at the other girl half-heartedly and then at Neji. "Hey Neji. I didn't realize you two were here, too!"

Neji, having long ago deemed Sakura as not worthy of wasting his oh-so-superior breath on, simply nodded at her-- or just in her general direction(Sakura wasn't really sure). Tenten was another story. "What's going on!" the brunette smiled.

"Nothing interesting," Sakura replied tentatively, but with good reason. Even though Tenten wasn't _as _obnoxious as Ino when it came down to senseless gabbling, she was still a well informed rumormonger in the village's gossip circle. And with that being the case, Sakura expected more than a couple of hinthint comments about her mystery 'sugar daddy'(so Choji kindly put it).

She was mildly surprised when Tenten didn't say anything about that. And she was even more surprised when instead the girl flung her arms around Neji's waist and tucked her head to his shoulder. Batting her lashes, and oblivious to Neji's uncomfortable fidgets, she smiled, "Sakuraaaa! Guess what?"

It amazed Sakura that Neji hadn't chakra spin topped Tenten that very moment like he'd done Naruto that time at the first chunin examination. But after a single moment's contemplation, she put two and two together…

For the sake of not bursting Tenten's bubble, Sakura mechanically echoed, "What?" Little did she know that with her simplistic question of "what" that the gleeful Tenten before her would none too enthusiastically spill her guts. She should have guessed as much.

"Neji… he asked me out!" she shrilled.

"He's right here, and no. You asked _me _out," Neji huffed. "Now, would you kindly remove your hands from me? As I recall, under the terms of our discussion, we aren't to be seen publicly displaying affectio--"

Apparently, Tenten didn't seem to hear the poor Hyuga boy as she simply hugged him tighter and continued, "We've been going out for two whole weeks! Can you believe it? We're already serious!"

"Wow, I'm-- I'm glad for you guys!" Sakura smiled, and though she resented herself for it, she was jealous of Tenten. Not exactly of Neji, but the fact that Tenten had finally er-- been asked out by the boy that she'd been chasing for years. For that reason Sakura envied her.

She didn't know why she suddenly felt this way when she hadn't sought after Sasuke in ages. But perhaps the idea that Tenten's feelings had remained adamant throughout years of enduring consistent rejections from her crush was an undeniably attractive aspect… especially when it all paid off in the end.

Sakura vaguely wondered how she did it. She wondered… how Tenten got a boy like Neji to like her-- or more accurately in this case, _consent _to dating her. This time, oddly enough, Sakura's mind didn't immediately think back to Sasuke, but instead, Sakura realized -- with an alarming clarity on her part -- that it was Kakashi.

"You know what Lee?" Sakura suddenly found herself saying to spite her mind, "If he will still have us, I think I _will _stick around for a while."

"Wahoo!" Lee whooped before he took Sakura's hands into his own. Coupled with tear-brimming eyes and that manly-man pink apron, he was the epitome of masculinity as he sniffed, "Thank you Sakura! You do not know how much this means to me!"

Alright. So anyone could have guessed what kind of impact saying this would have on Lee. But somehow, in the mind that had recently become…decidedly twisted with incessant exposure to too much Kakashi, Sakura figured that some time with other male life forms could prove to be the necessary medicine that could set her spoiled thoughts right again.

-

Somewhere a few feet away, despite the intelligible grunts and whinging that attacked his ears, Kakashi's eyes widened in their own refined version of a panic from what he'd just heard. "Sakura… she can't be serious."

This D-ranked mission had jumped to A-ranked in a matter a seconds in Kakashi's mind, or rather, his 'warped mind' as Sakura would later come to describe it...

-

A/N: Sorry for the delay. At any rate, hope you enjoyed it. :P


	8. Bound to Happen

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the series! I simply borrow them to do my bidding is all..._**

-

Kakashi's Research

__

Chapter 8: The True King of The Blueberries

-

One liver spot.

"Where're the other brats?"

Two liver spots.

"Kakashi-sensei sent them on another mission, sir."

Three liver spots.

"Did he? No doubt because he knew today it was when I'd requested this mission! All you shinobi are greedy money grubbers! You think you can waltz in whenever you feel and then half ass a job! Hear that, Kakashi? Your advisors are going to hear about this…!"

"_Four _liver spots_._"

"What was that, moron?"

"Mm?" Kakashi blinked. "Oh, I'm sorry. The liver spots above your monobrow are slightly distracting."

"_What?!"_

"I'm… I'm sorry, sir!" Sakura gasped, quickly bending to bestow a harsh shove to her sensei left shoulder. "Kakashi-sensei, ever since the pigeon-- uhm, turkeynin attacked us, he's not been quite acting himself!"

"Sakura," Kakashi said, addressing his student who remained adamant on ignoring him.

A red in the face Hiroshi directed Kakashi a glare born of pure hatred, which, of course, Kakashi returned with a blank stare. Hiroshi returned his beetle-eyes to Sakura and snorted.

"Hiroshi-sama, I apologize for our tardiness. Kakashi-sensei and I expect just as much work as you would have given us had Naruto or Sasuke been here with us! I can assure you that even without the others, we're capable of meeting the expectations! Well, minus the punctuality… but other than that, sir, if--"

"Moron!" Hiroshi sneered, "now that I've requested for another team, most of the chores are done!"

"Right…" the pink-haired girl responded quietly.

"Very good point," Kakashi interjected, "which is exactly why Sakura and I will gladly request another missi--"

"Hiroshi-sama!" Lee mewled, breaking Kakashi's attempt at bail as he toddled over to regard the fogey with that eager edge driven by desperation. "Tenten, Neji and I would not mind help with some chores-- right guys?" With this he angled a pair of expectant, glossy fish eyes at his fellow teammates, of whom, were still glued to one another, one( it wasn't hard to guess who) against their will.

Tenten blinked, subsequently nodding when she soon caught onto her friend's silent plea. "Yeah, yeah, sure! The more help we have, the quicker the mission is over, _right _sweetie?" Tenten tugged at the dangling band of Neji's headwear, oblivious to the resulting gathering of his eyebrows and corresponding narrowing of pale eyes.

"Of course," the Hyuga drawled dryly, "the faster, the better."

The old man's beady eyes squinted at Sakura before snapping to her sensei and regarding the said jonin with a sour grimace. "Fine!" he finally said. "The faster you shinobi do this the faster you slackers can all get out of my hair!"

Nobody replied to Hiroshi's expression of choice, though the resonating silence it left behind unanimously rung _'What hair??'_

With Sakura and Lee's mutual sigh of relief, Hiroshi was quick to add, "that means _no_ breaks! I want you all done and your stinking carcasses off my property by noon!"

"Yes, sir!" Gai and his clone chimed with a curt salute that was so in sync it was scary.

"Sakura…" Kakashi tried again. But, as fate occurred, he was inevitably interrupted, and even then, he had the growing suspicion that Sakura was deliberately ignoring him.

"I'm so happy he said you can stay!" Lee exclaimed, cheeks nearly as pink as the obnoxious frilly eyesore he currently trying to squirm out of-- thank goodness. Eagerly looping an arm around Sakura's and tossing the apron to his sensei, he then scampered on toward the back door, poor pink-headed girl in tow and his teammates trailing after.

Kakashi's eye narrowed with frustration. He could see his chance to steal out of the situation quickly slipping out of his fingers.

"Sakura? Perhaps you and I should both st--" he began with a haphazard step forward, but, because bad things, and more over, _people_ loved to happen to him, Gai swooped out of the blue and abducted him by the arm in much the same fashion Lee had done Sakura.

"Kakashi!" Gai beamed, apron folded over one arm and poor scarecrow the other. Kakashi scowled. "You and I will finish tending to the kitchen! Ha ha ha! After that, we can dust the library! And then Hiroshi-sama has some trees that need trimming! Wah hah! The good times to come!"

The silver-headed man emitted a relinquished sigh and rubbed at his ear as somehow within the course of the last few seconds, it seemed to have lost some ability to hear. "Oh, it'll be magical," he said, lacking the enthusiasm that suffocated him like the pillow he found himself wishing he had.

"That's the spirit, eternal rival! Now, chop chop!" Gai cried, ripping the rooted Kakashi from his spot and leading him into the direction of the kitchen.

"Hey, I have an idea, Gai," Kakashi said, his voice a happy cue just above sardonic as he suggested, "Perhaps we should help our students with their chore first. The more the merrier, right?"

"Ha ha ha! Nonsense!" was Gai's response. "The four of them will work beautifully together! After all, the glorious thralls of youth have cast a spell unto our pupils!"

A single silver eyebrow rise was his response. "Come again?" Kakashi questioned, watching in silent despair as his student, kidnapped by Gai's yes man, disappeared behind the corner he was so cruelly steered behind.

"Why Kakashi, you don't know?" Gai asked before he at last released his unnecessary hold of Kakashi's arm and found his way to the kitchen sink with a smirk that effectively crept Kakashi out. Just a little more than usual.

"Mm?" Kakashi blinked. He wasn't accustomed to hounding his 'Eternal Rival' for conversation, as he usually was trying to worm out of it, however, being as he felt something of his was indirectly referenced to, he felt a little obliged. "Why Gai, no I do not," Kakashi drawled, complete with eye creases that contradicted his evident undertone of sarcasm. "Please enlighten me with your oh-so superior and limitless knowledge?"

What do you get when your thick skull automatically filters sarcasm from statements? None other a compliment, of course!

Gai reveled in his false sense of superiority, typically grinning from ear to ear and becoming rather eager to bestow upon his rival the information he lacked. "As of late," he began as he climbed into the lovely pink apron his student had given him, "Neji and Tenten have initiated the beautiful act of courtship! Like two love birds at the start of spring!"

Gai soon clasped his hands together. "Before, I wasn't sure what to make of it. But my dear Tenten has had her eyes on Neji since even the moment our magnificent team was composed-- love at first site, such is the bewitchment many a-youth is slave to! Even after he denied her, she never gave up! Never! A true Team Gai prodigy, that gal!"

With Gai's ever manly sniff, proud, brimming eyes in addition to his already queer attire, Kakashi rolled his. "I'm sorry. I was under the impression that you had something that _wasn't_ completely worthless to tell me," the Copynin replied dryly before he produced Icha Icha from his vest and thumbed through the pages.

Alas, he was condemned to fall victim to Gai's mindless ranting. At least he had something worthwhile to help preserve his patience during this…

"Two weeks ago, I will admit, I was a beyond overprotective with the news of Tenten having found herself a boyfriend. But, when I discovered that it was none other than our own Neji, I was delighted! I did not have to worry that my innocent little Tenten had taken into arms some lowly filth that was not worthy of her youth and her _lotus_…"

Kakashi's eye twitched.

Gai continued, "… but as it is none other than our own, I feel confident that he will fulfill her needs and wants. Become the butter to her toast! The kunai to her shuriken! The jelly to her buns!"

"And, you'd like her to be where you could keep an eye on her," Kakashi finished for him even as his gaze glided mechanically across a page.

Gai chuckled, "Yours is like that, too? With the Uchiha boy?"

The Copynin angled his line of sight to Guy and shrugged. "Yes, along with rest of the naïve girls in the village," he said. "But, I think she's realized. She can do better. Way better than someone like him."

"Those are my thoughts exactly!" Gai hollered abruptly, resulting in Kakashi's bewildered attention. "She needs someone that will relish her. Someone that will treasure her as the lovely little gem that she is!"

The silver-haired jonin stared. "Sure, of course," said he, slowly, suspiciously.

"Someone like…"

Kakashi blinked.

"…like Lee!"

"…"

"…Kakashi?"

"You haven't heard yet have you?" was Kakashi's reply, and it was Gai's turn to feel the drastic spiral of his inferiority complex do to the absence of knowledge.

"Heard _what_ yet?" he echoed, caterpillar brows tilting curiously.

"Oh, just that Sakura is already seeing someone. From what I understand, they're serious," Kakashi said as he occupied his gaze once more to his novel.

"She's serious with someone?" Gai repeated.

"Mm."

"Who is it?" He leaned in.

"Oh, well, you see…" Kakashi itched his jaw line.

"Well?"

"…It's Takahashi."

"Who?"

"Takahashi," Kakashi repeated. He remembered hearing some blonde, Sakura's annoying two-faced friend, throwing around the name a few days ago as to whom Sakura's boyfriend was. Kakashi might as well enforce the lie with the ripe pickings of the fruit of his labor.

"This is going to crush Lee!" Gai grimaced.

"I'm sure he knows," Kakashi said, flipping to the next page of his obnoxiously orange book. "Just about everyone," courtesy to Ino, "in the village knows about it."

"Do you also become protective about her?"

"Not at all." Lies. "I rather think she can look after herself. She's eighteen after all; she's a capable shinobi and responsible young woman. She's experienced enough to make decisions and then accept the consequences of them. Whoever she chooses to date, it's up to her. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I suppose you're right," Gai nodded.

"Naturally," Kakashi hummed, as if his being right was the most obvious thing in the whole of Konoha.

Despite Kakashi's preach of Sakura being her own woman and being capable of choosing her own boyfriends and whatnot, the idea of her lingering around Rock Lee, even at that second, was maddening to the Copynin. Yes, the catch to this excerpt was that she wasn't allowed to date anyone other than Kakashi.

"Oh, Lee! How his heart must have crumbled when he heard! He has always pined after her, that Sakura. In the same manner I imagine she did Sasuke or Tenten Neji. How can he bear to be near her even now, knowing that she belongs to another? The tragic ache in his heart he must be experiencing!"

"Poor thing," Kakashi replied in a tone indefinitely lacking compassion. He furrowed his eyebrows and sighed. Lee would no doubt tiptoe around the boyfriend subject( if he wasn't already ), gradually pecking information from Sakura like a starved little chicken. Surely enough, he'd discover there is no boyfriend and never was. And then he'd ever so delicately ask Sakura about it and inform her where that sketchy rumor had _really _started.

In which case, it would probably be in Kakashi's best interest to get a head start for some ingenious hiding place. In Konoha? Nah. He'd only turn up floating in its famous river the next morning. Suna? Not a chance; still too easy-- Haruno-style sand coffin, anyone? A remote island somewhere off the coast of Sound? Bingo! That was more like it.

"Oi!" cried an ugly voice from the kitchen entrance and Kakashi and Gai both looked to see one human prune glowering at them. Well, actually, the glower was more or less directed at Kakashi. Big surprise. "Less chit chat and more scrubbing!" Hiroshi snarled, flashing atrocious gnarly teeth at the pair of them.

"Yes sir, Hiroshi-sama, sir!" Gai responded with a wholehearted smile, one that was nearly as blinding as Hiroshi's, but his of a different cause.

Was it a sin for anyone to have plain, _normal _teeth around here? Was that too much for a poor, frustrated shinobi to ask?

"You, ass-face! I want you to clean the floor! " He narrowed his eyebrows at the lackadaisical Copynin who regarded him with, well, to be honest, he didn't seem to regard him at all. "I'm talking to you, jerk!"

"I'm sorry. I keep getting distracted by those _grotesque _old people stains on your forehead. Ever consider combing your hair over those things?" asked Kakashi offhandedly, gesturing with his free hand to his own brow. "Oh, whoops. You do seem to be lacking in that department. You know," he leaned in. "I hear they sell superb wigs in Mist. You're a well-off fellow; why not look into it?"

By the time Kakashi next continued, he was already toddling on past Hiroshi, hand in pocket and the other storing Icha Icha into his vest. "Gai," he paused to throw an offhand look over his shoulder, "This time I want to propose a new match. Your team against mine; which can complete their tasks the fastest. Team Seven will keep to the garden and Ten will apply themselves to the household. You even have the advantage; two of my students aren't here. Whoever completes their chores first not only win, but get the entirety of the earnings for this mission. This is your opportunity to outdo me, Gai. Try not to disappoint."

With that, the silver head quitted the kitchen, leaving in his wake two gaping jaws.

-

Alright. So Sakura was completely insane. She'd gone and accepted the mission_. _Even when almost promised not to get anywhere near decent pay. She did it so she could spend time with Lee. How special.

"So, Lee, what's our first task?" she asked as the boy escorted her through the garden by the elbow.

Rock Lee offered her a wide, over-enthusiastic smile, as was the norm with him. "We are to harvest the bushes for their berries and put them into these baskets," he pointed to the indicated wicker baskets just before them. "And then we have to clean the garden pond."

"Oh, well that seems to be easy enough," Sakura stated, unhooking her arm from Lee's ( to his dismay ) to scoop up a basket. Approaching the bushes, Sakura cheerfully observed, "Blueberries, right?"

"Yeah, the old geezer has billions of them in this place," Tenten snickered, trotting on over, collecting her basket, and situating herself at the next bush over. Neji took his time to follow suit, but he did, and it surprised Sakura endlessly to witness the Hyuga place himself loyally at her side like a well-behaved dog, even after the Neji-abuse.

"Very good guess, Sakura!" Lee nodded, "Do you happen to like blueberries? They are a favorite of mine." He stooped to pick up his own basket, seconds later, appearing at Sakura's side.

"Mmhm," Sakura hummed as she reached forward to begin the tedious task of relieving the bush of its stock in all its blueberry goodness.

"This is just like a double date," Tenten sighed sweetly. Sakura couldn't help the way her eyebrow twitched at the suggestion.

"Hey Neji!" addressed Lee suddenly and everyone's eyes turned to him. Rock Lee struck a pose, his fists gathered and his toothbrush eyebrows angled diagonally. "I challenge you to a blueberry picking contest! If I cannot collect more than you by the time sixty seconds have passed, I will gladly acknowledge you as the Blueberry Picking Champion, King of all Blueberries!"

Neji stared at Lee. Lee stared back.

"No," was the solitary drawn out syllable that passed the Hyuga's lips.

"But Neeeejiiii!" came Tenten's cry and she drummed at his chest with a frown. "You _have _to!"

"No, I do not 'have to'. I refuse to compete for such an _embarrassing _title," he huffed, failing to waver even after his girlfriend proceeded to drape herself over him.

"Pleeease?" she begged. "Do it for your girlfriend?"

Neji sighed. "Okay, okay. Fine."

"Woohoo!" Rock Lee whooped. Tenten smiled. Sakura blinked.

"But after this over, I don't wish to hear anything about my being a 'Blueberry King', " Neji said before performing a hand sign with is left hand and initiating his Byakugan. "Are you ready, Lee?"

"I was born ready, brotha'!" was Lee's answer and he hop-skipped over to an opposite bush, basket at the ready. "Sakura! I will win the title to prove my eternal love to you!"

Sakura nodded slowly. "…Sure."

Queen of the Blueberries. How charming.

"Alright, guys!" Tenten exclaimed with a giggle, "Ready? Set… Go!" And so the Tournament of the Blueberries commenced. The sound of rustling leaves and Tenten's cheers soon filled the air. "Yeeeah! Go Neji! Ne-ji! Ne-ji! Ne-ji! Keep it up, sweetie!"

Rock Lee was fast, Sakura noted. Exceedingly, but it wasn't like it came to her as anything of surprise. He maneuvered splendidly, plucking the berries with rapid and efficient motions that steadily filled his basket. Sakura was impressed, she admitted to herself.

Though, when she looked to Neji, she could say that she was equally amazed. Neji's own movements were more subtle than Lee's. Each fluid flick of his wrist and stab of his index and middle finger to a various point on the bush resulted in a heavy rain of blueberries, each one he was able to catch expertly in his basket.

Come thirty seconds, Neji's movements stilled and he was holding a overflowing basket. "That's enough, Lee," he said, chin poking out and his voice full of pride, "My basket is full."

"Agh!" Lee gasped, "I was sooooo close, too!"

"Yay, Neji! You won!" giggled Tenten, taking the liberty to leech onto her smug boyfriend.

Rock Lee sighed, "I am sorry, Sakura. I lost."

"Oh, it's alright, Lee," Sakura smiled kindly. She wasn't sure that she wanted to be Mrs. Blueberry anyways. "You did your best!"

Tenten took this time to stoop and pluck a fat berry from Neji's brimming basket. "Neji! Taste this one!" she purred as she bent forward to pop a berry into the Hyuga's mouth. Neji sealed it before the brunette ever had a chance.

"Mmf! No, Tenten. Behave yourself!" he growled as best he could without letting the persistent little Tenten stick the thing down his throat.

"Open up, honey," she purred, prodding the blueberry at him until she'd effectively smashed part of the fruit to his lips.

"Stop it! I don't want--" he hissed, but it was too late. With an awkward-sounding _gulp!_, Neji's face contorted, paled, and then proceeded to have the color return in the form of a vibrant blush.

"So?" Tenten asked, a cloyingly expectant smile spread across her lips, "how are they? I dunno myself. Blueberries are nasty."

Lee and Sakura both watched this warily, Sakura half expecting Neji to Eight Trigrams Tenten then and there. But once again, she was baffled when the boy simply shrugged and looked away with a scowl, not unlike the way Sakura imagined Sasuke might have. Tenten typically giggled and bent forward to kiss the berry juice from her boyfriend's mouth. Sakura looked away, suddenly feeling awkward watching this forward display of affection, a peeping Tom.

Her attention was then put onto Lee with his next startling gesture.

Expect him to get ideas…

"Sakura, may I?" Lee peeped with a smile, leaning toward her with his hand outstretched, a plump little berry betwixt his fingers. Two pink eyebrows raised with alarm and Sakura, taken aback, shouldered his attempt impromptu. Lee blinked three times, a slow, nervous smile twisting his lips. "I," he murmured, "am sorry."

Sakura's eyes went wide with alarm. "Lee, no, I… uh, you just caught me off guard," she said quickly. "Look, see? Try now," she opened her mouth, green eyes closed and rosy eyebrows crooked awkwardly.

Rock Lee shook his head and raised two hands with a vague smile, "It is okay, Sakura, I… I understand. I do not know what I was thinking! Stupid, stupid me!" He slapped himself in his forehead, making Sakura frown.

"Lee? _I_ don't understand. What do you mean?"

"Oh thaaat's right. Sakura, aren't you already an item with someone?" Tenten asked with a sly smile, suddenly back from her Neji-harrassment, and her eyebrows waggling in a way that brought Sakura's down in a bitter scowl.

And _there_ it was. Sakura knew she had it coming sooner or later. Sakura couldn't help but to notice how all the eyes in the immediate area had turned to regard her curiously, Lee's slightly more apprehensive.

"You guys," she began with a grimace. "Did Ino tell you that?"

"Nope," Tenten purred. "I told _her_."

"You _what_?"

"I..." Tenten seemed suddenly more hesitant. "I told her?"

Sakura's eyes were as wide as her mouth. Temporarily. Because next her teeth were grit into something so savage that Ms. Brunetta Talks Alot ducked behind her boyfriend, cowering. Neji looked defensive.

"Haruno, if you've got a problem, then answer to me," Neji said thickly, his eyes slits and his arms crossed. "_I _told Tenten."

"You did?" Sakura said, her knuckles going white. She tried to maintain her cool. "And who, sweet Neji, who told you?"

That's when three sets of eyes simultaneously turned to face a viciously flustered Rock Lee, who was fidgeting with the handle to his basket and deliberately staring at the ground.

"Lee told me," Neji replied pointedly as if the guilty aura Rock Lee was emanating wasn't enough to guess.

"Lee?" Sakura echoed, schooling her voice to be level. "You... Y-you started the rumor?"

"Yes, that is, I did not mean to start it, Sakura! I simply discovered Kakashi-sensei trapped to the oak two days ago and when I asked him to get an answer from you, about _you know," _Lee blushed, "he said that you have a boyfriend. I-I told Neji and that is it!" Lee became glassy-eyed and sniffed. "I am so sorry for being the cause of the gossip about your relationship, Sakura! I did not mean for this-- to betray you in such an unforgivable way! Give me a punishment! One-thousand push-ups! Two-thousand jumping jacks! Three-thousand laps around the--"

"Lee," Sakura said quietly. "I'm not mad at you."

Her sensei, of course, was not so lucky.

Lee nodded and wiped at his eyes and nose on the bandages from his wrist. Sakura grimaced, and though she affected to look composed, inwardly she was beginning to nurture a rather venomous resentment for a particular jonin. A 'particular jonin', fate would have it, that was coincidentally strolling into the vicinity presently. He really _did_ have bad timing.

"Yo."

All eyes( save Sakura's ) turned to acknowledge Kakashi.

"Kakashi-sensei!" tweeted Tenten, sweet as ever. "What's going on?"

"Hm… Nothing much," he answered. "I'm just here to notify you all that our teams as of this moment are competing. Gai's team is doing all the indoor chores, while Team Seven,"-- or what was left of it anyways, "will be completing the ones to be done out here. Step lively now. Your sensei's pride is on the line."

Kakashi watched, satisfied, as three chunin obediently scurried inside. He waited a moment before walking over to his student, who simply continued to gather berries… with a slightly edgier fervor.

"Hello, Sakura-chan. How're you?" he asked pleasantly, and when Sakura abruptly paused her collecting, he held his breath. But when she continued again, Kakashi just assumed the day's precarious situation had just gotten him paranoid and twitchy.

"Fine. Just collecting berries," Sakura hummed in a too cheerful voice that sent a chill crawling up his spine.

"What kind of berries?" Kakashi asked carefully, schooling his tone to be just as good-natured as his student's and trying to accurately gauge his pupil's mood. That paranoia, you see.

"Blueberries."

"Oh, blueberries. Have you had any?"

"Sure. After all, I seem to be having plenty of things lately." Kakashi blinked ever so slowly. "Berries. _Boyfriends,_" she murmured as she turned to direct narrowed jade eyes at her teacher, "You know, things of that nature."

Kakashi gazed fixedly at the sky. "Ah," he sighed, just in time to witness a wicker basket of berries whirr past his head.

"I hate you, Kakashi-sensei!" next came Sakura's shrill. "_You_ started it, jerk!"

"Sakura, wait--"

"--I can't _believe_ you!" This time, Sakura rushed at Kakashi and, lest he anger her even more than she was by way of dodging, he took the left hook to the face like a man.

"Okay," Kakashi grunted as he wiggled his jaw, "maybe I deserved that one." He'd hoped that Sakura had gotten all her frustrations out with that one punch, but it was apparently too much to ask for.

"Why would you tell everyone that I have a boyfriend?" Sakura snarled, her teeth bared as she proceeded to direct yet another attempt for his face. This time, Kakashi caught her fist in his palm and held fast to it to prevent a third swing. Of course, that feuled Sakura's effort to slug him with her other one, which then called for the catching of her wrist.

"Settle down, Sakura before you hurt yourself," Kakashi murmured in a sigh. "If you'll understand, I never meant for the rumor to go far. It's just, I'm rather fond of my students. I guess I do get protective of you sometimes and I... And when Mini-Gai-- er, Lee asked me about you, it just kind of slipped that you… " Kakashi trailed off. It was a moment before he picked up again. But his voice was less anxious, and slightly more amused sounding. "Sakura, hey, ah… are you… are you biting me?"

"…"

There was a long pause.

"Well, um, your hair smells nice."

"…h'I ha' chu'!"

Another pause.

"Feel free to unlatch yourself from my shoulder at _any_ moment," Kakashi said as he peered around.

"…h'I ha' chu'," was muffled reply again.

"Yeah," Kakashi nodded once, "I know you hate me."

Again, silence.

Ten minutes passed.

Kakashi waited. And Sakura continued to leech to him like a vampire.

Finally, come the point where Kakashi was sure her teeth marks would be there for weeks to come, Sakura eased her teeth from his shoulder. "Feel better?" he asked quietly.

"Let go of me," she murmured, her face tilted away from him. "I'm leaving!" Kakashi nodded and released her accordingly, putting his hands into his pockets.

"What about the mission?" he asked her.

"I could tell you what of the mission and I could tell you where you can shove it," was all he got from her before she stormed off.

-

Five and a half hours later, as Sakura sprawled across her sofa and occupied herself with her magazine, _'Kunai Girl', _there was a knock at the door. Thinking it was Ino, home after _finally_ getting some groceries, Sakura abandoned her magazine and scrambled to the door.

That was when she opened the door just in time to see a small brown animal dart around the corner of the apartment hallway and out of site. She blinked. Sakura was about to close the door again when a sheet of white paper caught her eye.

Squatting down, she took the slip of paper into her hands, noting with a grimace that it was in fact a slobbery, chewed up slip of paper. Her mouth fell open.

It read:

_dear sakura,_

_i'm hungry_

_i'm sure you are too _

_be over in an hour_

_or i'll come get you _

_--love, sensei_


End file.
